WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CHURCHES?

THE HISTORY OF THE CHURCHES

If you will remember, momentarily, our history lesson in the first section of this book, described the original divorce of man from the Church/State. It began with the Roman Catholic, Martin Luther, who tacked his 99 Thesis to the doors of the Roman Catholic Church.

The following chronicle of church separation is a matter of European history, and the records of its development and separation, and the genealogy of all western/Christian churches, can be traced backward to Martin Luther. The church historical records are available in most English museums and libraries, for anyone to search out their own church heritage. The subject can also be studied in many of our own Reference Libraries.

Luther's original separation from the Roman Catholic Church, established the paradigm of Church growth and isolation that is still prevalent today. The churches continue to separate and develop new "offshoots," which are born from the original parent church organizations.

There is a special reason why there are so many churches, and we will reveal the answer shortly, but first, let us look at the historical development. The understanding of how it all happened will shed light on the why.

The Pagan Emperor Constantine (307-337 a.d.) adopted Christ and the Cross, along with Pagan rituals, ceremonies, and doctrines, which he used to develop a state church for the Roman Empire, that fell under direct control of the emperor. For approximately 600 years, (the beginning of the Dark Ages) the Emperor, living in Constantinople, controlled the semi-Christian-pagan state church until the split between Rome and Constantinople in 1054 a.d.

It was then, that the pagan church split into two separate entities: The Roman Catholic Church with its hierarchal Monastic Orders, and the Eastern Orthodox Catholic Church with its jurisdictional Patriarchatic Orders.

It was Martin Luther, a member of the Roman Catholic Church, who was to become the father of the Protestant Reformation. The far Eastern religions, such as Buddhism, Zen, and Mohammedanism, of course, do not originate from the Reformation. All other present day English/American churches, with only one exception, must trace their heritage back to the Protestant Reformation. The one exception, is The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day Saints ( the Mormon Church ), who broke from church history and the KJV Bible, to form their own organization in 1823, founded on the principles of "modern revelation" under the direction of a "modern Prophet," and thus separated; they can not trace their roots in the following organizational genealogy.

Luther's initial schism from the Roman Catholic Church further splintered into four different superentities, from which all other Protestant religions sprang.

SUPERENTITY ONE :
Lutheranism; In 1517 Martin Luther initiated his separation from the Church. The Lutheran Church was formed in 1526. This church split into three different organizations...
1. The Lutheran Syndicated Conference of North America, in 1878;
2. The American Lutheran Conference in 1900;
3. The United Lutheran Church of America, in 1918.



SUPERENTITY TWO :
The Radical Sects splintered off in 1520. Here, there were three main splinters:

1. The Anabaptist in 1521;
2. The Religious Society Of Friends (Quakers), in 1647;
3. The Congregational Brownists, in 1560.
From these three main groups began the greatest splintering of the church system.
The Anabaptist split twice, (a) into the Mennonites in 1536; (b) and the Baptists in 1609.


The Baptists split six times, into
(a) the Church Of The Brethren in 1719;
(b) the Freewill Baptists, in 1727;
(c) the Disciples of Christ, in 1810;
(d) the Northern Baptists Convention, and
(e) the Southern Baptists Convention, both in 1845;
(f) and the National Baptists Convention USA, in 1915,
which splintered further into the National Baptist Convention of America, in 1916.


The Church Of The Brethren split and formed the Adventist Movement, in 1833; which split into the Seventh Day Adventist, in 1863. It was Darby and the Plymouth Brethren who brought Jewish Christianity to America, and it was Free Mason's Rutherford and Russell who started the Jehovah's Witnesses.

The Freewill Baptists have remained without major dissension, suffering only from small groups splintering off into singular isolated groups.

The Deciples Of Christ have, likewise, only suffered nominal singular separation, into the Church Of Christ.

The Northern and Southern Baptists have also remained insular, as have the National Baptist Convention.

The Religious Society Of Friends went on to form the Mennonite Church, in 1683.

The Congregational Brownists split up again in 1620, to form the Congregational Churches which further split twice, into the Unitarian Churches, in 1825, and the Congregational & Christian Churches in 1931.

The Congregational & Christian Churches splintered into three main divisions:
(a) the Assemblies Of God,
(b) the Pentecostal Church system, and
(c) the Holiness churches.
All three of these went on to diversify into innumerable Charismatic churches.

Today, there are over 340 forms of Christianity or variations of doctrines with over 350,000 different churches.

SUPERENTITY THREE :
The Church Of England was formed in 1534.

John and Charles Wesley initiated the "Holy Club" at Oxford University, and developed a method (hence Methodism) of studying the Bible.

He, and his followers, split from the Church of England forming Methodism in 1739; another split began the Methodist Episcopal in 1784; the Protestant Episcopal in 1789; the African Methodist Episcopal Church in 1816; the African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church in 1821; the Methodist Episcopal Church South in 1844; and the Colored Methodist Episcopal Church in 1870.

The Methodist entity later joined with the Lutheran entity to form the United States Salvation Army in 1888.


SUPERENTITY FOUR : Calvinism in 1536.
The Calvinist movement initiated the Reformed Churches in 1536.

They split into the Reformed Church In America in 1628; and the Christian Reformed Church in 1857; the Evangelical Reformed Church in 1934; and the Evangelical United Brethren in 1944.

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The fathers of each of these individual church organizations, do remember their heritage. Although, the knowledge has long since passed from layman remembrance, the memory of fraction and separation is still inherit in all church doctrine and dogma. The leaders are familiar with their own history of separation and splintering into new religious bodies, and have sought to establish, firmly, the fact that their own religious body, is the only one who is absolutely and emphatically correct in their present understanding of the scriptures.

Each church's effort to survive and protect their own separate identity forced them to develop a "Psychology Of Separation," and "Original Perfection." Each separate church, adopted an attitude of separation, that served to protect their particular church government from extinction. The Psychology Of Separation ("If we remain isolated and stay away from those other heathen churches, we won't be in jeopardy of damnation.") was developed to keep their people from visiting other churches. They supported this belief with the theory of Original Perfection ( "We are right, we are the only one's that are right, and everyone else is in jeopardy of hell's fires.") Combined, these two concepts served, ineffectively, to inhibit the separation of its members.

The reason that there are so many churches,
is because there is an ever present quest
within the heart of man,
to uncover perfect truth.

The first separation began with the Roman Catholic Church, who recognized a need to separate itself from the Paganistic worship of the State/Church of Constantinople. The paradigm, or pattern of separation, was established when Martin Luther, a Roman Catholic, uncovered new understanding in his own personal search for truth. Martin Luther was forced to pursue his new understanding with the fellowship of like minded souls, who formed a new church, the Lutheran Church, dedicated to the pursuit of truth.

After Luther, each and every separation of a church from the parent church, was an uncovering of a new understanding of truth. Each church body contained an individual, or a study group, who believed that they learned the correct interpretation of an existing understanding of scripture or truth. This new understanding didn't necessarily define the existing religious body as wrong, nor was there any guarantee that the newly forming religious body was entirely correct. It was simply, a separation of one man from another man. It was one man's ideas, versus another man's ideas. It was one group's understanding, versus another group's understanding.

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Thought...
right or wrong,
has always been at the heart
of every church schism.

A typical separation of a group from the main body of believers could happen something like this....

Mr. Smith is a devout man and well respected in his church community. Mr. Smith is intelligent and has an inquiring nature. He doesn't take the pastor's interpretation of the scriptures as Gospel, but understands that the pastor is a man, like unto himself, and subject to error. He reads and studies for himself, and in time, perhaps backed with prayer, he determines that the pastor has made a wrongful application of scripture. Mr. Smith's new understanding may lead him to other observations of possible improper scriptural interpretation, and so he endeavors to talk it over with the pastor. If the pastor is, typically, offended by Mr. Smith's question of his supreme authority, and rejects Mr. Smith's new understanding, then Mr. Smith takes it to the other members of the church, who either side with him, or with the pastor. There are now two factions: Mr. Smith's group, and the pastor's group. Mr. Smith's group, if they truly believe they and Mr. Smith are correct, must separate themselves from those who can not see the light of the new revelation {because of the danger of the Psychology Of Separation and the penalty of eternal damnation). Mr. Smith's group must choose to leave the main body of believers, or, they will be cast out from the main body, because of their "reprobate" ways. Either way, the separation is painful, often dividing family and friends, and eventually isolating the dissenting group. Religious interpretation is such a personal matter, and seemingly supports, or rejects, Mr. Smith's moral integrity. Mr. Smith and his followers personally desire to love God as much as humanly possible, and so their separation from the main body necessitates the organization of a new name, and/or religion, where they may continue their worship.

The final answer is this:
Man has within his heart, the desire to seek out truth. He must know the answers. He is not satisfied with what is told to him. He must analyze it, dissect it, apply it and try it, until he uncovers the correctness of it. If it is not correct, he must, by his very nature, search until he has full understanding.

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WHICH CHURCH IS CORRECT?

There are millions of different personalities, and each church attracts their percentage of the population, thereby providing a base of Truth from which to illuminate its own principles. Because of the diverse manner of personal growth of the millions of individuals, there are over 340 forms of Christianity, or variations of doctrine, resulting in over 350,000 different religions. Each of the churches are needed by the individual members who are on their own present path of discovery. Each organization presently appeals to, and supports the individual members, on their own personal quest for Truth. Each organization contains sincere individuals who are dedicated to the integrity of the Truths that define their own understanding.

Until the individual member determines that their own present organization is incapable of supporting their present understanding of truth, their own church will remain correct, to them....

Therefore, each church is presently correct, for the individual who attends its ministry, because each person walks a different path toward their own enlightenment. Their path, and their understanding, will determine their own interaction with their Higher Power. If they choose to allow their Higher Power to lead them onward into ever purer Truth... that is between them and their understanding of their own relationship with their Higher Power. They are only accountable for what they know, what they truly comprehend, and what they THINK they must do. It is up to each individual person to determine the direction of their own path. Again, we must remember that... truth will always reveal itself. It is up to us to nurture their questing for truth, so we may lead them onward to the higher stepping stones. It is not our duty to define personal truths. It is our duty to challenge our fellow man to consider... that there may be personal truths to discover, thus they will begin their own pursuit of truth, ultimately arriving at the source of all truth.

Universal Truth
XIX
Tomorrow's punishment
is not a thing
that hangs in the eternities,
but the immediate consequence
of our present thoughts.

322. Of a CHRISTIAN persuasion? Even if you believe in God, and consider yourself to be a devout Christian, the God of your Bible would never violate your conscious will. The choice has always been yours.

As a believer, you might have the "faith" to believe that you have a head start over a nonbeliever, but if you keep running everywhere for answers, and do not give Him permission to reveal your own source of "adequacy," He will not force it upon you.

Even if you give Him permission... It will be left up to you, to search out and fulfill the answers.

323. Your healing... will be your own work of faith.

So what is your duty?

Your duty is...
to your self,
your own healing,
your own spiritual direction
beyond your present space and time.

Do not fear to recognize that there is another dimension. Although you can not possibly understand it all at once... you will come to understand anything that you set your will upon. For now, just accept the healing and guidance that is yours to receive at this very moment.

Trust yourself!

Don't give over your spiritual growth and potential to a fatalistic and sin focused religion. Get out! Search for a belief system that aligns itself with your inner knowingness.

Trust yourself!

Don't allow yourself to be controlled against the harmony of your inner sensitivity.

Trust yourself!

Give up the CONTROL and determination to DOMINATE others. This is simply more "stuff" that we have been taught against our own internal truths. If your present religious system has caused you to sense the elements of control and domination, then it is focused on "external power" instead of "personal empowerment."

Trust yourself!

Help someone, instead of telling someone how to do something. Share with someone, instead of taking. Give, instead of commanding. If others anger you, because they do not live according to your own understanding and present standards, you are caught in a false doctrine of domination. Get out!

Trust yourself....

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DOGMA AND DAMNATION

Sour godliness is the devil's religion.
-John Wesley

The author spent nearly twenty-five years searching through the religious world for answers. Out of all of the religious dogma that he encountered, he eventually discovered that there were bigger questions than the mere interpretation of scripture.

One church proclaims that "you are saved by works," and another emphatically states that "it is by grace." One church believes that "you must be saved" and yet another believes that "the elect are already numbered." One church professes the need for "tongues" while another fearfully shouts that "tongues are of the devil!" One denomination claims that "you must be baptized by immersion," while another one "sprinkles with droplets of water." One adheres to "adult accountability" while another performs "infant baptism." One professes absolute "world authority," while another claims "personal revelation." No matter what the dogma, they all have one thing in common. Their own interpretation, is the only interpretation that is right....

Which is right? The author suggests that there are weightier questions to consider than personal interpretations of doctrine.

Each person creates his own interpretation to govern his own existence. If his private interpretation judges himself into an eternal hell of damnation, then that is his choice.

Most of today's Christians are looked upon rather dubiously. The shout of "hypocrite" echoes throughout the halls of every sanctuary. The word "Christian," has many diverse interpretations. For most of mankind... it means very little, and pertains to too many cults with private practices.

Always feeling that it must be the particular religion and not his own sincerity, the author searched for the answer through, first one religion, and then another. No matter what the religion, he eventually discovered that there was always some "thing" that was not quite in line with the whole picture. This "thing" was always vague and evasive. It was difficult to define, but it always caused a lack of satisfaction with his alignment to the focus of the beliefs.

No one, not one church system, had the answer as to why he could not free himself from drugs and personal degradation. The questions surrounding his personal integrity assaulted him from every church door. The only surety was continuous humiliation resulting in failure and rejection.

Why was it necessary to struggle so much?

Why, couldn't he just be "delivered," when he so desperately wanted to live up to his own expectations?

Why was he always doomed to fail?

Why could he not succeed, no matter what interpretation he was working within?

Why must he be destined to attend AA meetings for the rest of his life, or look forward to his next bout of addiction with fear and loathing?

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The author finally arrived at the final and ultimate question. It was this: "No matter what interpretation, why couldn't Christians live their belief?"

Why does everyone invariably fall short of their expectations? Every believer, be it Christian or Mohammedan wants to live by their principles, and yet, most fail miserably, doomed to fall short of their teachings and understanding.

It had to be more than the fact that, "You are just human." It had to be more than the fact that, "There was only one perfect man." It had to be more than the fact that, "You are not giving it to God," or "...putting it on the alter for God to work out." It had to be more than the fact, "You are not exercising enough discipline." It had to be more than the fact that, "It must not be God's will..." I mean, that's what they say when little children die... isn't it? "It must be God's will..." How lame of an interpretation.

Eventually, the author discovered that there were Universal Laws that were larger than the controlling walls of any church, larger than dogmatic interpretation. He discovered that the reason that men need such ultimate and permanent definitions, is because they are afraid. They are afraid to question their existence and come up with no answers. Most of mankind feels safer to not question, and then they do not have to fear the unanswerable.

There truly is... GOOD NEWS!

There is always an answer.

Universal Truth
XIX
The answer exists
before the question.

The Universal Laws could not exist without total perfection and balance, without their own definition, without their own answers. They are stable, definite, and complete. A Law does not define itself in regards to our relationship with the Laws; the Law defines how we may establish our relationship in the security of its definition.

What we have failed to realize is that we are the ones who determine our will for our own lives. It is up to us what we choose to do. We can write our will around a set of principles, or around a private interpretation... right, or wrong. You can create an empire built upon pandering and pornography, simply by channeling all of your energy in that direction, or you can build an empire of service, by channeling your prayers, meditations, and energy into service to mankind.

The end result will always be the same. Our world is what we have created. Our thoughts are what we make them. Our life is what we have thought it to be.

Once we accept responsibility for our past actions, and recognize that today is exactly what we thought yesterday... we are free to take control of our will and not write it off as... "It must not be God's will...."

It is up to us to shape our will into a better tomorrow. We do not leave it up to a god, or a man, to reshape our existence. We do what we are here to do... we discover the existence of Universal Truth, educate ourselves to its interpretation, transform our lives by excepting responsibility, and then we begin to utilize the principles of the Law to create the life we desire to live.

We think it into existence. We attract it to ourselves by the force of our determined consciousness. We pray, or meditate, or focus, or channel the energy in one direction, attracting the answer by the sheer power of our creative spirit, and then we educate ourselves, fortify ourselves, and shape the future to our own understanding. We become COCREATORS, recreating our will, our thoughts, our world.

This works, no matter what your personal religious interpretation.

We are exactly what we think we are. We are heathens or saints. We are failures or successes. We win... or we lose. Our own prayers are often answered by our own sheer intensity and determination to acquire the answer.

The existence of the Universal Laws
IS our answer.

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The Universal Laws are here to guarantee the answers. In essence, it is the answer to prayer, before ever the prayer is uttered.

We are the final authority of what is right or wrong for our own life. We determine what is the correct interpretation of all supposed Truths. We can trust man, men, an organization, a book, or... ourself... our own spirit.

No matter whom or what you trust, whether you like it or not, you are the authority who interprets, who determines, whether you accept a certain piece of knowledge as an absolute Truth. Sometimes we do not want to become the final authority, because personally accepting responsibility for your Truths would eliminate a scrapegoat if the Truths turn out to be wrong.

There is no reason to fear being the authority. When you align your thoughts with your heart, you will find that your heart will not lie to you. Your inner knowingness knows what is the Truth. When you are in harmony with Truth, you will continue to align yourself with greater Truth. You must simply learn to trust yourself.

The Universal Laws exist,
as the answer,
before ever the question
is formed.

It is up to us to work within
the perfect power of Universal Law
and thus shape our own lives...
into our prayers.

J

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MEDITATION TIME

Silence
is the element
in which great things
fashion themselves.
-Thomas Carlyle

324. MEDITATION. You will not make it without Meditation. You will not make it without meditation. No... this was not a duplo-typo. It is a most critical awareness.

You need a time of reflection, to focus your day, contemplate your truths, quieten your nerves, to steel your resolve, and channel your energy.

All of the great intellects reflected upon the classics, including the Bible. Many of the "masters of thought" enjoyed a quiet walk. Some preferred the dark, and some, the warmth of the sun. The author's favorite time, is quiet walks at Sunrise and Moonrise. No matter what the time or place, or manner of reflection, it must be done. Without it, you will be adrift.

I want the books
that help me out of the vacancy
and despair of a frivolous mind,
out of the tangle and confusion of a society
that is buried in bric-a-brac,
out of the meanness of unfeeling mockery
and the heaviness of incessant mirth,
into a loftier and serener region,
where through the clear air
of serious thoughts,
I can learn to look soberly and bravely
upon the mingled misery
and splendor of human existence...
-Henry Van Dyke

325. CENTERING. The word "meditation" is from the Latin meditatio, meaning, "looking within." It comes from the root word "medi," which means medium, or center. Together, they mean... looking within your center.

"Medicine," another derivative of "medi," means to return to the center, physical illness being the one extreme and mental illness being the other. The right medication can help to return you to your center.

Meditation is the medium for returning your "self," physical and/or mental, back to your center. It is the method for getting your mind and body in harmony with your spirit.

There are many great teachers who reveal that the source of real healing is found within your own consciousness. Your meditations can conquer mental anguish all the way to the extremes of deathly illness.

326. STEPS. Every type of meditation will use at least one of the following steps.

1. You separate and isolate.
2. You focus your attention.
3. You think upon your request or direction.
4. You visualize the result.
5. You decide... by feeling and emotion.
6. You apply action to your decision.

327. DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS. There are many different forms of meditation. Here, the only thing that is important, is, "what’s comfortable." Since meditation is so personal and so very powerful, we encourage you to seek out a path that you, personally, find rewarding.

The author combines several of the following techniques to help combat a predisposition to destructive negativity. In the author’s estimation, they are listed in the ascending order of strength. Again, what works best for one person might be different than for another.

The sanctuary
is in our mind.

Retreat to the peace within.

Let go of your senses...
Let go of time...
Let go of the awareness of your body.

Keep your focus upon the now...

upon your loved ones...

upon your purpose in life.

Play out the difficulties in your mind.

See them...
experience them in your inner self...
then play them out
how you want them to be...
how you want them to go in reality.
Your inner vision will
become your reality.

Once you have established
and centered the inner way...

the outer way will quickly follow.

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NOTE: Each of the following has its own particular focus with its own individual strengths and weaknesses.

328. MUSIC is an opportunity to "feel" stimulation and emotion. It is the opportunity to feel what you might not normally feel stimulated to feel. Because of its strong sensory and emotional potential, it is important to pick the right music. Even some classical music can be so stimulating, that it inspires you to action, instead of inducing a state of relaxation.

At one time in our life, my friends and I only listened to hard-drivin' pulsating beat-type music, and our lives reflected the chaotic state of the predominate sounds that we pumped into our brains.

What goes in... does come out.

Here, with music as the medium, there is not a specific purpose, a targeted focus, and there is a tendency to be directed by the intensity or melancholy of the music.

329. READING is a way of discovering. As we have already attested to, the great thoughts have all already been thought and written. It is up to us to search them out.

Reading fulfills five of the six steps. It is up to you to perform the sixth step, to apply your discoveries to your life.

330. QUIET WALKING is very therapeutic, especially when you are walking in a favorite and or personal place. The outdoors purity of creation, perfection, variety, vastness, color, and organic shape, serve to recenter us. The greens and blues are healing colors. The green reflects life. The pale blue, of the sky, soothes.... The warmth of the sun, heals.... It is why the human race has coined the phrase... "Getting back to nature."

The only negative... is the very thing that makes it positive. The vastness and diversity of life do not allow for any depth of focus. Our attention can continually be distracted to still some other interesting occurrence, a bird's song, the wind in the trees, a dog barking in the distance.... With no focus, the walk is simply therapeutic.

331. SITTING QUIETLY, especially in nature, is a great source of healing. The right place is important. The less potential for distraction.... the better. Sitting before the vastness of the ocean, or the distance of the mountains, allows the mind less immediate more definitive distractions.

The advantage over walking, is the person's ability to focus more of his attention, internally, instead of outwardly upon the path he must negotiate.

332. VISUALIZATION AFFIRMATIONS CONSTRUCTING does help a person to direct emotion and energy toward goal fulfillment. This type of "goaling" does not have to be only materialistic. It can be physical and mental.

By "directing" your desires, such as, being drug free, you can achieve much emotional strength. When directing your visualizations, you purposely develop an image of yourself in a typical drug oriented environment. Normally, you always accept and participate. In your imagination, you are now going to create a new scene, that perhaps you have never experienced. You are going to say "NO" and leave. If we have never experienced the feelings that may be associated with being able to say "no," and then leaving, we may never be able to follow through with our intention, because there is no memory base to build upon.

When we create the new scene in our mind, attention to detail is important. The atmosphere, the room, the furnishings, the faces, all are important. The more determined you are to correctly envision the scene, the more able your mind is of accepting the imagery as reality. Your mind will accept whatever you put into it.

By applying emotion to the vision, "overwhelming emotion..." you will be able to solidify the vision as a reality. The difference between daydreaming, and constructing dreams, is that you attach emotion to the vision. When we daydream, we do not do anything but allow our mind to wander. If we were experiencing the situation in real life, we also respond with emotions, be they positive or negative. When we associate and develop an emotion of overwhelming gratification and joy to the action of standing up and saying, "No thanks, I’m cutting down," and then leaving, we convince the mind that it is a reality. Your mind will not make the distinction of the difference. By repeating this particular visualization, affirmation, and emotion, many many times, we will find ourself, in real life, craving to respond to the gratification associated with the constructed dream. Eventually, you will say... "No."

This is a fantastically rewarding style of meditation that enables you to specifically target and reconstruct your realities. It will work for any scenario!

The author prefers to utilize visualization techniques after centering himself spiritually through prayer and meditation. Once the mind is clear, and in harmony with your spirit, it can more powerfully create your visualization. Also, prayer and meditation serve to align ourself with our purpose, so that we will not visualize any frivolous or negative energy.

333. CHANNELING is testified by many of our associates, to be a divine source of focusing energy. There are many varied forms of channeling.

One particular form is to place your hand on your throat and feel the vibrations that you make when you speak affirmations. This technique allows you to feel the power that your body generates at a "chakra," or a "point of power." By focusing your attention on the different power points of your anatomy, you can feel, or sense, the different emotions of your body chemistry, and thus "get in tune with," or "address," that particular emotion.

For instance, when focusing on your "gut feelings," you might sense a feeling of angry energy. By visualizing this energy, and reshaping it in your mind, you can redirect and internalize feelings of forgiveness to replace the anger. In time, you may develop your sensitivity to properly identify and substitute all of your feelings. Your chest, or heart area, is your "spirit" point of power. Your belly is your "emotions" point of power, your loins are your "creative" point of power, and so on....

CHANNELING energies does address all of the proper criteria of the meditational steps. There are several books available in the "new age" sections of most larger book stores.

334. AUDIO LEADING utilizes prerecorded programs to lead you into a meditative state of consciousness. If you feel uncomfortable in making your own tapes, the prerecorded tapes are a wonderful place to start. The only noticeable negatives, are the lack of personal focus, and the guide’s voice. Most of the tapes are pleasant and very relaxing. They do work.

335. REFLECTIONS. The sound of water trickling over a stony brook has long been recognized as a soothing and even relaxing meditational sound. The sound of water falling, has served to mesmerize more than one mind. We even know of people who position a sleeping palet by the bathtub and turn the water on at night to help them go to sleep.

Water has long been noted for its powerful significance in dreams. Clear water, in dream analysis, signifies clarity of mind, purpose, and progress. Any dream containing the splashing, spraying, or the noted freshness or cleanness of water reflects balance and joy.

Although the authors thoroughly enjoy their refreshing dreams of sparkling water, and anticipate good feelings as a result of such dreams, they recognize that water is far more important than its ability to foretell fortune. It is more capable than just producing a relaxing sound. It produces color and light.

By sitting before a clear pool, you can easily focus inward by the association of looking within the pool. Looking within the water helps us to look within the soul.

Also, simple hot baths have long been recognized as beneficial, and allow deep moments of relaxation and meditation. Water will always denote cleansing and healing.

336. MIRRORING provides the opportunity to look within one's "self" by looking into your own eyes. The eyes are very focussed on "seeing" and by looking into your eyes, you can "see" the realities of your life.

337. FLAMING is a meditation using a candle or candles. Man has long been known to sit before a campfire and stare blindly into the illuminating patterns of the flames. A single candle provides a very focussed point of flame.

338. BREATHING EXERCISES enable you to get in tune with the inner workings of your body. Since oxygen is a necessity, an energy source, it helps to focus on a source of life.

339. MANTRAS are sacred words or prases in Hindu or "Sanskrit." There are many wonderful works that translate the original works into modern language. It has been proven scientifically, that the original sacred languages utilize the same vowel and phonic formations, and thus the modern language, derived from the original creations, serve to offer the same healing strengths and soothing therapy.

Deepak Chopra, M.D., in his work, "Sacred Verses, Healing Sounds," explains the therapeutic value of sacred sounds, and further, reads selections from the Bhagavad Gita. Deepak is one of the author's absolute favorite authors and a personal choice for mentor. His works are not only educational and enlightening, they heal and bless the spirit. Sacred Verses, Healing Sounds is very rewarding, along with his other works, Escaping The Prison of The Intellect and Creating Affluence, to name just a few.

Mantras have also been considered visual... utilizing patterns of lines and colors that spiral and channel our vision inward to our center, much in the same way that words channel the mind toward its center. They are a tool, just like the candle or the pool. There are many great Eastern works that reveal the depths of these sources of meditative focus.

These books can be found in the spiritual/inspirational/ and or the new age sections of book stores.

340. YOGA and Tai Chi are disciplines that are centuries old. They require a dedication to discipline that will reproduce great states of peace and health. Here, the body becomes the instrument that leads the mind into meditative and peaceful states via specific movements. It is not something that rewards with experimentation. It is a way of life. Here is an opportunity to adopt a life-style.

341. POWER WORDS are words that help you to channel and focus your energy. Although most have derived from eastern awareness, they do not conflict with "Christian" ethics. Once the author realized that these meditative words only served to center and align himself with his spirit, he was free to combine this form of "centering" with his prayer, in order to achieve a deeper and more meaningful prayer life.

"Om," "Ah," and "Hu," are just a few of the more common examples. These words vibrate our vocal chords in a specific resonance that helps us to feel vibrations of peace, clarity, and energy. They are most often combined with Mantras, candles, or other sources for focussing. They are very powerful and should be studied at length, to expose their true potential. Most meditation books disclose information about "Power Words."

342. PRAYER. The most common and widely used form of meditation is Prayer. Millions use prayer as a means of finding peace in troubled times.

The physical actions that accompany prayer are supported by what we have come to understand about how the mind works. If you physically seek out a quiet place to be alone, away from all distractions, and then focus all of your attention on a certain action, you can, through affirmations, and visualization techniques, discover your own responses, or "answers." Since we have the further understanding, "that you must apply action to your beliefs," it only stands to reason, that you will achieve results with prayer.

Whether you are praying for an answer for what you must do in your life or for peace about a decision that you must make, whether you believe the answers come from within or without, prayer more than meets all of the criteria for meditation.

1. You separate and isolate.
2. You focus your attention.
3. You think upon your request or direction.
4. You visualize the result.
5. You decide, by feeling and emotion.
6. You apply action to your decision.

You, you, you, you, you, and you. It is your responses to a meditated direction that determine the outcome of any meditation.

It is not so much that some divine being is sitting around waiting for you to pray, and then is forced to judge whether you are "worthy" of his response or intervention. Your actions applied to your focus are what make the most of your own meditation. Think about it.

You must decide what you are to do, and then you must act upon your decision. Your focus on life is what will "think" your answer into existence.

Our blessing is in the security that we are living in a perfectly ordered Universe with precise governing Laws that enable us to work within their perfect context. Once we discover the existence of the Law, we can begin to organize our lives within the perfect harmonies of Truth.

We will naturally reap exactly what we sow....

SPECIAL NOTE: The author wants to assure us that there have been many moments that transcended his own ability to manifest miracles in his life through prayer and meditation. Although the author believes, implicitly, in our own CO-CREATIVE abilities, there have been numerous situations where "divine intervention" was the absolute and only explanation. The situation required special assistance and infinite wisdom that would supersede his own finite ability. This interpretation of "divine," is personal, though, and served to explain his own "unexplainable." The author associates a personal "knowingness" with his interpretation of "divine intervention," and feels that the unexplainable is thoroughly explainable, but again, this is a personal awareness and interpretation. The author wishes to assure us, "That what may not be true for you now, may become true for you later."

Remember...

"To each, his own understanding...."
Your higher power
and your interaction with that higher power
is strictly personal,
and is solely up to you.

Even though the author considers that he has a personal relationship with his Creator, and depends upon SSS, "Special Spiritual Support," it does not alter the existence of Universal Law and Universal Truth that serves us all, "sinner and/or saint," and that governs the Realities of the Universe. The author cherishes his special moments, and looks toward his next special moment with excitement and longing. This personal direction, however, does not alter the Truths of the Universe.

In the light of modern revelation, the author has simply accepted that we must add our own "accountability" and "responsibility" to our own personal knowingness, and it is when you use this formula, that you get...

1 + 1 = infinite possibilities.

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The author has discovered that he can not just "Give it to Jesus," or "Lay it on the alter," or "Just release it," but that he must utilize the wisdom that he has acquired, in decision, and then exercise his faith, in action. His own decisions, and acts of faith, are what initiate the response. It was Peter who had to exercise his faith when he stepped out on the water. It was the lame man who picked up his pallet. It was the blind man who submitted himself for healing. It was the woman who reached out to touch the garment. All requests for divine intervention require action on our part even if it is only to fall to our knees and cry out in ahguish... that is still an "action."

Prayer requires that we make a choice, and then... we must respond according to that choice.

343. PERSONIFIED. Combine all of the methods of meditation. One day you might feel like candles and quiet, and another day you might feel like a walk. Maybe you would enjoy Power Words by a pool. There are times where you may feel that only prayer can resolve your inner turmoil.

Any action that helps you to focus within, and can purely channel your energy toward Truth and enlightenment, resulting in personal growth, would not be frowned upon by any god, especially since all paths lead you to the ultimate truth.

Today is mine.
It is unique.
Nobody in the world
has one exactly like it.
It holds the sum
of all my past experiences
and all my future potential.
I can fill it
with joyous memories
or ruin it
with fruitless worry.
If painful recollections of the past
come into mind,
or frightening thoughts of the future,
I can put them away.
They cannot spoil today for me.
It is mine.
-Author unknown
Copied from a faxed office circulation flyer.

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A JOYFUL SPIRIT

Joy is as much
a matter of cause and effect
as pain.
No one can get joy
by merely asking for it.
...like all fruits it must be grown.
-Pax Vobiscum

344. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. When someone is hurting, think about what you say. Don't respond automatically with platitudes. Listen to the other person's words. Never deprive someone of hope. It may be all that they have.

After you have listened to an aching despairing heart, search for a way to positively focus their energy. Gently leading someone into becoming aware of their blessings can help to refocus their energy.

Most often, when a person is deeply hurting, it will be near impossible for them to remain focused on their blessings. Joy and happiness are achieved by long term awareness to a need for joy. The more that you tune into "happy" thoughts, the more joyous your nature will become.

Joy is an enduring grace.

345. Always be kinder than necessary....

Twas a thief
said the last kind word to Christ;
Christ took the kindness
and forgave the theft.
-Robert Browning

346. Never take action when you’re angry.

Anger is a wind
that blows out the lamp of the mind.
-Eleanor Doan

SPECIAL NOTE: THIS SECTION MAY APPEAR SHORT, BUT THE WHOLE MANUAL IS ABOUT ESTABLISHING A LIFE FILLED WITH JOY. JOY CAN NOT BE CONTAINED WITHIN A SECTION. THERE WILL BE MORE ON JOY SCATTERED THROUGHOUT....

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GIVING

It is one of the most beautiful
compensations of life
that no man can sincerely try to help another
without helping himself
-William Shakespeare

347. PERSONAL SACRIFICE is an act that you are willing to allow to go unnoticed. It can be achieved every day of your life.

I expect to pass through this world but once.
Any good, therefore, that I can do,
or any kindness
that I can show to any fellow creature,
let me do it now.
Let me not defer or neglect it,
for I shall not pass this way again.
-Steven Grellet

348. Expect more when you give more.

He who bestows his goods upon the poor
shall have as much again,
and ten times more.
-John Bunyan

349. Expect more when you give more. There is great power to be discovered in supporting your sources of teaching, your mentors, and sages. If someone feeds you, make sure that you return a blessing for a blessing. Give when given to.

We will talk more on giving, later, in the section on visualizing your fortune. It is an essential element in expanding your financial horizons.

To increase your income, you will need to know that it is first necessary to budget your proposed use. Money does not magically materialize for wishful daydreaming.

Wealth will materialize
for the individual with a plan,
with a purpose that is worthwhile,

for the individual
that will give a portion of his increase
back to the good of mankind.

J

Surplus wealth is a sacred trust
which its possessor
is bound to administer in his lifetime
for the good of the community.
The man who dies rich...
dies disgraced.
-Dale Carnegie

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PERSONAL PURPOSE

Unless there is a predominating
and overmastering purpose
to which all the accessories
and incidents of life contribute,
the character will be weak, irresolute, uncertain.
-Frances E. Willard

350. DIRECTION. And so we come near the closing of Section IV. It began with becoming aware of your thoughts and progresses toward this subsection on purpose.

There is not any one thing that is more important than anything else in The MANUAL FOR MANKIND. All of the Truths work together for the ultimate progression of man.

There is no one piece of knowledge that is truly greater than any other piece of knowledge. Knowledge is relevant. You might think that The Laws are the most important, but without the context of The MANUAL, they become weakened in their delivery. You may think that The Awakening is the most important, but without knowledge, your awakening is just another feeling, and yet, the whole MANUAL, The Laws, and your awakening, will hang upon this section right here... the section on Personal Purpose.

Our life is what our thoughts make it.
-Marcus Aureilius Antoninus

This is not new. You have heard this before.

Once you discover
that you can think
whatever you choose to think,
and that your thoughts
are what you build
your hope and faith upon,
you are ready to uncover
your personal purpose.
You are ready
to move forward
with your new awareness.

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The only way to move forward...
is with a
purpose.
The purpose of life
is a life of purpose.
-Robert Byrne

You are not what you have meant to be,
or you would not be searching.
This new awareness is not a negative.
It is the beginning of your Destiny....

J

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351. Analyze and determine where you stand. Although you rebel at the idea of being mediocre, and fight desperately to be an individual, are you just average?

Do you simply surrender your will and desires to the wants and demands of other average people.

Are you trapped in dull routine, buried in mediocrity?

Are you stuck following a leader who is at least smart enough to be slightly different?

That does not qualify them as any more than average either.

Maybe you are more than that. Maybe you don't bow down to the will of the majority, and yet, you don't stand on your own two feet, either. You won't take the initiative, nor will you make the move toward independence. You must act! You must make decisions!!!

352. FIRST... DECISIONS!

What do I believe?

What do I want out of life?

What can I contribute?

Do I consider my life... a meaningful life?

What kind of a person do I really want to be?

Am I this kind of person... at this very moment?

Am I living my dreams?

What am I doing... to make my dreams come true?

Do I have a backbone... or a wishbone?

Am I afraid to act on my dreams?

353. To never fail at anything, means you are definitely living within your own capabilities. All of us fall short of our intentions. Only the man who fails to gain insights from his choices has the potential for real failure.

It is not failure
but low aim...
that is a crime in life.
-James Russel Lowell

354. TREASURE. Do you remember "The Story In Your Eyes?" Do you remember the "antiquities," the "urns," and the "porcelain vases," and exactly what they were filled with? Let us momentarily return...

"The Treasury holds more than the mere wealth of gold and silver. It holds riches beyond earthly measure. It holds antiquities, urns filled with your own Self-Worth. There are porcelain vases of Self-Love. The treasury holds your hopes, your dreams, your purpose. Your Title and Lineage are mounted on the walls in golden frames handcrafted by the ancients. Your respect and recognition are contained therein. Healing and miracles are contained in abundant and miraculous measure. There is no end to the riches."

All of these blessings await you... when you get your life centered on purpose.

355. YOUR PERSONAL BEST. A worthwhile purpose will set you above the crowd who have settled on the plains of complacency, who have settled for less than their best.

356. DIRECTION. You will know where you are going, and how you intend to get there, when most people do not even know where they have been... much less where they are going.

Go ahead and talk to people about their purpose in life. You will discover how alien of a concept it truly is.

357. DEPTH. With direction, your life will become more comprehensive, and have greater depth and reward. You may gain real peace... even joy!

You stand
on the threshold of achievement
when you start
with the desire to go forward.

J

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NOTE: We are going to talk about success, which realistically, involves talking about money, and we do not wish to sound materialistic, so before moving on, we will clarify our intent...

The prime motivation
in achieving a life of purpose
will involve helping others.

When I stopped trying
to make Glenn Turner successful
and became concerned with helping others
become successful,
I automatically achieved success.
-Glenn W. Turner

358. REWARD. The greatest reward that you can ever achieve in this life is the reward of fulfilling your purpose.

The majority of mankind stumble haltingly through life without any awareness of the fact that they exist to fulfill some Universal Destiny. Without this knowledge, their lives remain unfulfilled.

And the kindly earth shall slumber,
lapp'd in Universal Law...

...Yet I doubt not through the ages
one increasing purpose runs,
And the thoughts of men are widened
with the processes of the suns.
-Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Please note that the concept of Universal Law was spoken of... over a century ago. It is not a new concept. It is age old, and recognized by all of mankind's greatest thinkers. As surely as the sun will come up tomorrow, we will encounter yet another experience that will cause us to ponder the reason for our existence.

359. RECOGNITION of the fact that we all have a purpose to fulfill, is essential to a fulfilled life.

Did you notice the mention of purpose was combined with Universal Law in Alfred, Lord Tennyson's quote?

In truth, the life of purpose is the only reason that we exist.... This is the reason that we are here. We are here, solely, to fulfill a purpose.

Having a purpose does not necessarily demand that it be of cosmic importance. A purpose can be as singular as raising your children, or as complex as a call into some full-time service to mankind. If your purpose was to bring special direction into your children's lives, and you were not aware of it, you might miss an opportunity to bring a special goodness into the world.

360. You were born with special ability. It might be the ability to listen to others, to share in the suffering of others, to feel empathy, to lead, to follow, to plan... or even to dream....

Search out great human needs
and determine
to make this a better world.

Whenever you become part of a cause that is greater than yourself, you will have magnified your existence.

There is no greater satisfaction in life, than knowing that people need you. Whenever you serve someone else, you serve yourself even more. You remember that no man can sincerely help another without helping himself. You will always receive happiness if your attitude is to serve.

361. MATERIALISTIC vs. IDEALISTIC. Please don't misinterpret what we are saying. Purpose can be both materialistic and idealistic. We feel that man most commonly measures success by acquisition. This does not make it right. "Achievement," can also define success.

Whenever we project the image of acquisition into the definition of success, we are simply aligning ourself with the slant of man's ost accepted viewpoint.

We would like to interject a slant on the slant. In this materially oriented world, it would be easier to give more of your time to your purpose if you could afford the time. You do not pursue wealth for wealths sake. You pursue abundance, so that you may share your dreams and visions with your loved ones. You acquire wealth, only so that it may free you from the confines of survival. It's not that money is actually a determination of success, it is that money can afford you the time and resources to do great good.

362. The average man, who is 25, anticipates success... but insurance surveys of the same men at age 65, revealed that out of every 1000 men that it surveyed, there was only 1 that was rich. There were less than 10 who were independently wealthy. Most of them were forced to remain working.

Over 80% had less than $1,000.00 accumulated retirement!

363. 1% In the richest nation on the earth, less than 1/10th of 1% are ever considered successful. Become a part of this 1% group. It is after all, simply a choice....

The reason that men do not succeed
is simply that men don't think.
-Dr. Albert Schweitzer

364. BIGBUCKS! How can you give the extra effort to your dreams, if you loath what you are doing? Financial remuneration is not always the only reward. There is no adequate price that can be attached to misery and degradation. If you are humiliated by your employers, or by your employment, there is only one way to free yourself. Find a job, employment, or a service that supports your purpose.

365. RUTS. One of the most difficult things to do, is move away from a job that you know is a blind alley. You know that you are miserable, doing what you are doing, but there are so many reasons why you are there. "It pays too good... It offers security... I have so many years seniority... I have friends there...." Remember how the addict will defend his addictions?

The list can get very long and complex, but none of the justifications can ever equal the cost of misery. Anytime you find yourself in a rut, remind yourself that a rut is a grave with the ends knocked out.

I honestly think
that everyone should make it a point
to do work that he enjoys.
He should find out what his aptitudes are
and follow them wherever they lead.
-Art Linkletter

Universal Truth
XXI
You can truly live...
only within your purpose.

366. CHANGES don't have to be uncomfortable or dangerous. You do not have to just quit a job that you don't like. We would certainly never advocate such rash decisions. The very nature of "purpose" is to align one's self with internal harmony. Harmony is never achieved through rash and thoughtless action.

Harmony comes
from gentle daily alignment
with your purpose.

Besides, you may discover that you are more closely aligned with your purpose than you at first perceived. Maybe you could even discover ways to make your job more fulfilling. Maybe, you could fulfill your purpose while doing your job. There are always alternatives, other than just quitting.

For instance, perhaps you are a salesperson, and you discover that your purpose is to serve others, specifically bringing beauty into their lives. Maybe you are simply working in a wrong division of your company, a wrong department, or selling the wrong product. The company may have a product or service that would enable you to fulfill your purpose. Your alternatives are certainly worth investigation.

Universal Truth
XXII
A life of purpose is achieved
while harmoniously aligning yourself
with your purpose
moment by moment, day by day,
and year by year.

367. WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS. Unfortunately, you know of a certainty that your job cannot fulfill your personal purpose. Don't feel too negative.... Experience from your present and past jobs can help you on your next job. Remember, all that has happened, has happened so that you may arrive here at this very moment.

You have looked into other aspects of your business and verified that there is no reason to visit with your employer. Yes... it would be nice to believe that you could visit with your boss about something that is so important to you, but your visit could be vague and misunderstood by them. It may even be detrimental to reveal your discontent. Your questions could cost you your job. It is time to make a plan.

The unfolding beauty of your future
lies in the discovery of your purpose.

Universal Truth
XXIII
Purpose can only be fulfilled
when it is known.
It must be uncovered.

368. UNCOVERY. The reason we use the word "uncovery," is because your purpose has always been, and always will be, your own possession. You must uncover it. It is hidden beneath the layers of mediocrity and trivialities.

In healing, we use the word, "Recovery." We wish you to consider the possibility of moving beyond mere recovery.... We believe that once you recover, it is time to uncover deeper personal awareness. You may have not been aware of the need for a purpose, but the knowledge, now, belongs to you. It is yours alone, and can not be dictated by another. Although we can help you to uncover your own purpose, we could never tell you what that purpose is. We can help you to uncover it because it is already yours. You possess it right now. It lies awaiting your focus.

Universal Truth
XXIV
Purpose is so very monumental
so very important to our lives...
to our joy...
that it will be revealed
the moment that we look toward it.

This is the true joy in life,
the being used for a purpose
recognized by yourself as a mighty one;
the being thoroughly worn out
before you are thrown on the scrap heap;
the being a force of nature
instead of a feverish selfish little clod
of ailments and grievances
complaining that the world will not devote itself
to making you happy.
-George Bernard Shaw

The answer
will come from within you.

369. TIME. Determine to spend a special time... alone. Get your personal affairs in order, so that you will have enough time to devote strictly to yourself. It is important that you do not feel guilty about undone chores. You will need enough time to channel all your energy and focus your intent.

370. FOCUS. Your mind needs to be clear and uncluttered. If you believe in prayer... do so. If you do not... meditate. Begin your task with focusing your awareness totally on your quest of self-discovery.

371. FASTING is not just a biblical reference. It is recognized in many diverse medical and meditational applications. Fasting serves to bring your flesh under subjection to your spirit. Your spiritual self can grow stronger in a weaker condition. It is not necessary, but it can serve to heighten your awareness.

372. QUESTIONS are necessary in order to discover your purpose. Once you are aware that you are here for a special purpose, you can begin the path toward defining that purpose. The following questions will help you to begin your journey.

373. THE QUESTIONS. If you will ponder these ten questions and follow them through until you have a complete comprehension for each, you will find that there is a reoccurring theme that runs through them all. These initial ten questions will lead you to other questions about the questions. Before you are finished, you will discover a common denominator in each of them, and somehow, in some special way, they will all lean in the same direction. Whatever that direction is... is the direction that points toward your purpose.

Here are the ten questions.

1. What brings you the greatest and most lasting happiness?

2. What do you desire more than anything else?

3. If you could become anything at all... what would it be?

4. Do you have a forgotten desire?

5. Has there ever been a secret aspiration that used to burn in your heart, but that you have laid aside?

6. Is there something special that you have always wanted to do?

7. What would you like to accomplish in your life?

8. What job would you like to have?

9. What is your finest memory?

10. What stirs your heart more than anything else?

Universal Truth
XXV
You can only achieve joy
with your life focused on purpose.

374. PLAN. A purpose is not tangible. It is an internal alignment to be discovered. It is a focus on your own reason for existence.

A purpose can only be fulfilled when you know what it is, and you initiate a plan to align yourself with your own purpose.

375. GOALS. You need goals that align you with your plan... with your purpose. There is a difference in having goals and having a purpose. Goals are dreams that are achievable. They have tangibility. There is a time when you arrive at a goal, and then it is a reality.

You can make plans to achieve goals that lead you to the fulfillment of your purpose, but you cannot make adequate plans until your purpose is clarified.

NOTE: We will discuss goals and goal setting in greater detail later on.

376. CLARIFICATION... THE BEGINNING OF LIFE. You know that you need a purpose... you may even know what that purpose is. It is time to clarify it, so that you can organize a plan to support it.

A defined purpose
is the starting point
of all accomplishment.

J

377. SHAPING. After discovering your purpose, it is time to shape it into a reality. Don't wait for circumstances to push you around. Shape your circumstances. Mold your surroundings into the dream you have dreamed. Make your own opportunities by simply thinking them into existence. Make your dreams a reality.

The greatest dreams of mankind have become reality by the focussed attention of one individual.

378. FULFILLED OBJECTIVES. Once you have determined your purpose, establish an objective for fulfilling your purpose, and then move forward with an organized strategy.

No rule for success will work if you don't.

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HELPFUL HANDLES

FOR HOLDING ON TO PURPOSE

1. To get along with others, go along with others, but to move toward your purpose... think for yourself.

2. Plan, and stick to it... as much as possible. Procrastination makes an easy task more difficult.

3. Cultivate good habits. They'll work hard for you at no extra cost.

4. Resting on past successes will not produce a better tomorrow.

If you want to leave footprints
in the sands of time
wear work shoes.
-Unknown

379. PATHFINDER. Become a "Pathfinder." Lead the way. Set the pace. Explore!

380. ACCEPT the world for what it is. If you are always complaining about how things should be, then there is the potential that you are trying to change it. By doing this, you are sitting in judgement of it, and it will be much more difficult to obtain peace in your heart, as long as the world can never obtain your judgement of perfection.

381. DETERMINATION will be necessary to accomplish your dreams. After establishing you purpose... ask yourself if you have the confidence to accomplish your purpose?

Self confidence is the most vital vehicle in accomplishing your purpose. Without self-confidence, the greater part of your abilities are asleep. You have amazing abilities awaiting your awakening.

Once you find your purpose, you must commit yourself to achieving this purpose. This can only be accomplished when your determination is fueled with self-confidence.

Without purpose... without progress!

382. Formula for SUCCESSFUL PURPOSE

1. Once you find your purpose you must commit yourself to achieving this purpose. You can then sail across the great ocean that lies between mediocrity and success... by sailing over on the battleship called purpose.

2. Participation in self-development will enable you to participate in your overall goals. Utilize your objectives and organized action to free yourself from negativity and routine existence, so that you can move into a life that is rich and complete.

3. Follow the example of others. Recognize your weaknesses. Surround yourself with men that support your vision. Get help in the areas you are weak in.

   Henry Ford, a self-made millionaire with an elementary education was famous for surrounding himself with specialist, men with far more education and learning than he would ever have. He was one of the originators of the principles of the mastermind group.

4. Purpose can be fulfilled simply by exerting an amazingly small amount of extra time and effort on keeping your focus upon your purpose.

5. Know that there will be times that problems are so great, that it will be impossible to complete some plan. The inability to meet an expectation can reveal many things. It could even reveal that the expectation is unrealistic or unsupportable by goals.

6. Plan your next step... one step at a time. It doesn't matter if you can see past the next two steps. As long as you keep the landmark of your purpose in sight, you will always be headed in the right direction.

   When traveling in a vehicle at night, you can only see to the end of your headlight beam. When you have traveled the length of the light beam, you are enabled to see that much further ahead, and thus travel that much distance again. It is one portion of light and distance at a time... until you have reached your destination.

   And so it is with life...

One step at a time...
one foot in front of the other...
until you arrive at your final destination.

J

Where will you go from here?
Will you be controlled and dominated
by the gods of our time...
the media, the church, the state?
Will you believe the lies
of controlled complacency?

Will you become a part of history...
a statistic...
or will you help in the making of history?

Join us
in our own
great awakening!
We
are the future.
YOU and I....
The future begins right now.

This is our time.
The moment is now!
The future...
is but a thought away.

A GREAT MYSTERY...
To have real joy and fullness of life,
it doesn't really matter
if you achieve your purpose...
It only matters
that you are moving toward it.

J

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INNER CHILD

The child is father of the man.
-William Wordsworth

383. PEACE. Make peace with yourself, by closely studying this section. For many of us, we did not possess any knowledge about "inner child" awareness, nor did we possess any knowledge targeted toward attaining any level of peace in our lives. Now, the knowledge is available.

384. Believe! Believe in yourself... and you won’t be afraid. You will be able to accomplish anything.

385. AWARENESS. Develop a new awareness about yourself.
Resources: (Books and audio cassettes can be found in most music retail stores and libraries listed under “self-improvement”).

386. Teach yourself about your negatives, so that you can master them, (i.e., “Inner child work”). You have nothing to fear but fear.

Note: Inner child work is NOT some "new-age" thinking. It is a relatively newly developed social-psychological area of study that is as old as biblical times... "Ye must become as little children...." Check it out, and see for yourself. You can address problems, such as self-esteem, frustration, and anger. You owe this one to yourself.

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TESTIMONY

It is my personal testimony that inner child work has been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. Through the work, I have been able to travel beyond the barriers of time and space.

I have traveled into the spiritual dimension, to return with lost visions of my own true identity.

I have been blessed to discover my inner child, to know him, to allow him to minister to me, to reveal the beauty and understanding of love.

I have been freed from addiction, pain, identity crisis, and have had my perception of the world transformed. I no longer believe that life is hard, that life is difficult, that life is only filled with pain.

By coming to know and experience an intimacy with myself, by coming to trust my inner voice, by discovering that I can work within The Laws Of The Universe, I have rewritten my mind. I have "rescripted" my understanding and perception of life, and I now have a new understanding. I know that life is beautiful. I know that life is mysterious and wonderful... exciting!

I know that life is filled with miracles, and that I, a spiritual child of the Universe, can manifest these miracles in my life, and in the lives of my family... at will.

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387. NO! NO! NO! Do you realize, that for the first three years of your life, you were told a variation of "NO" approximately 7000 times? You were told to "watch out," "to wait," "to be careful," "to quit it," "do not be silly," or "don't be foolish," or you may have even been told that you were "stupid." You were definitely told, "No, you’re too little," and "No, you’re too big."

Do you get the picture?

388. DEFEND your parents. That’s right. It is OK to feel that way. They did love you after all. None of them purposed to harm you. We do not believe that most parents set out to harm us. They did the best that they knew how. Some of them did better than others, and some of us have fewer hang-ups as a consequence. They gave everything they had to give.

It’s just that they didn’t know any better. They didn’t comprehend the importance of words. You undoubtedly had a loving childhood, but most of our parents did not truly comprehend the effects of their words, nor did they see clearly, the results of their response associations.

389. RESPONSE ASSOCIATION is the interaction that you as a child, actually had with your parents.

When a child is playing by himself in a room, the parents are able to do their "own thing." They can watch TV, or read a book, or visit with other adults. Everything is OK, as long as the child is not doing anything that conflicts with the parents priorities. The child plays alone for a couple of hours and everything is OK.

Then, the child breaks the remote control to the TV. The parent comes rushing into the room and begins their scolding routine. To the child, who always wants more parental attention, a negative occurrence gets them more attention. Any attention is better than no attention. The parent had ignored them for two whole hours, and then, the only fully undivided attention they get, is negative attention. Is it no wonder that we are negatively turned?

The parents didn’t mean to be that way. All parents are that way. Some are just a little less self-oriented than others. Don’t blame them. It is not their fault. They didn’t realize how much effect their words, or supervision, or lack of supervision... would have on our lives, or how much effect their time/priority relationship would have on their children’s future.

Is it no wonder that we go through life craving attention? Some of us were starved for attention. After all, it was only thirty-five years ago... that, "Children are to be seen and not heard." Unfortunately, there are still parents that feel this way.

If you do not have children of your own, listen to the interaction of other parents and their children, and you will see... and feel....

Childhood is like a mirror...
which reflects in afterlife
the images presented to it.
-Samual Smiles

390. CROSS-MESSAGING is when you control your words, and even your actions... but the children’s spirit senses your frustration and anger. We can often control our "correction delivery," but that does not change the spirit in which it is delivered. Our words say one thing and our spirits say another. On the surface, we appear to be controlling our words, but our body language is angry, or even hostile.

A friend relayed to me, that her mother never ever got mad at her when she was growing up. It wasn’t until years later, after extensive inner child work, that her mother revealed that she had been very angry... all the time. She had just been able to control the outward appearance and delivery of her words. Internally, she was withering in frustration and "failure-oriented blame" for not raising her children to be better. She felt it was all her fault, and her anger, even though it was at herself, was wrongly received and interpreted by the children. Even though my friend could never remember a cross word... her spirit received every message in painful confusion.

The great man
is he who does not lose his child's heart.
-Mencius

391. FORCED MATURITY. We have fought to mature, because we were forced to mature, so that we would be less of a burden upon our parents. Children are belittled if they do not learn fast enough. The whole education system is designed to progress you through maturity. If you act childish or immature, there is much social stigma and ridicule attached to your behavior. Yes, we are supposed to mature, but we are not supposed to lose our childlike sensitivity.

392. CHILDLIKE vs. CHILDISH. It is possible to be mature, to not be childish, and remain childlike.

We should have been taught responsibility by example, but we were not. We were taught servitude by control. The difference between being childlike and childish is immense.

To be childish is to be immature and insensitive, disruptive, or even destructive in rebelliousness.

To be childlike, is to be sensitive, obedient, to trust, and be constructive in unconditional love.

393. OUR EARLIEST LEVEL OF TRUTH. As a young child, when we were more innocent, trusting, and loving, we were more in line with our inner awareness, more sensitive to the direction thrust upon our lives. Our accelerated learning potential was tuned in to the perceptions and interpretation of reality. That is why, by the age of three, we could sense the rightness of adult counsel and correction ...in direct response to the wrongness of "their" motivation. We rebelled against the injustice of the selfishness of their personal gratification over the needs of love and trust that should have been manifest in our lives. We have been rebelling fearfully ever since.

If there is anything
that we wish to change in the child,
we should first examine it
and see whether it is not something
that could better be changed in ourselves.
-Carl Gustav Jung

394. BETRAYAL. We are afraid to love, and we certainly realize that we can never ever trust. Think for a moment. Try and determine how many times you have been betrayed... by your friends, your parents, your spouses, your loved ones, your associates.... You cannot recall all of the times. We have been taught to betray. We have been taught to betray ourselves.

395. INSTANT GRATIFICATION. We have been taught to betray the higher consciousness in order to sell out to more immediate gratification. We have been taught to "want what we want, and to want it now!" We cannot wait. We have not been taught to wait. We should not have to wait. We should have it now... or be miserable.

396. A CHILD'S WONDER.... IT IS LOST NOW. We were taught to fill our lives with so much action and movement that we would never have enough time to stop and look at where we have just been. If we stopped to look at where we have just come from, we might wonder where we are going. If we wondered at where we were going... we might wonder at how we got where we are. If we could truly see where we are at, we might want to be... different.

397. LARNIN.' Herein, lies a mystery. Our parents wish us the best, and yet, they want us to be just like every one else. How can we be different, be our own personal best, if we are lost in mediocrity.

We are not taught to excel. We are taught to "make them proud," or "not cause them any grief."

We are not taught how to succeed. We are taught to not be a burden. We are taught to become self-sufficient as quickly as possible.

Instead of our parents setting us free from the constraints of their own gratification, we are taught to advance to a point where we can set our parents free.

398. Average American hourly child breakdown

Total hours in a week equal 168 hours.
• Sleep equals 56 hrs.
• Schooling equals 40 hrs.
• After-school day-care and/or Baby-sitter equals 20 hrs.
• TV Supervision equals 28 hrs.
• Playing with other children equals 20 hrs.
• Unaccounted for... equals 4 hrs.

It is called a child breakdown for a reason....

399. CHILDCENTERED. This concept is an elemental Truth of the Universe. We live for our children.

If you are a parent... once you became a parent... although you may not have known it at the time, your primary purpose shifted at your child’s birth. Once you chose to create new life, your purpose changed. Your new purpose was to begin to help your child to discover their own purpose....

Most of us have not truly understood the supreme importance of parenthood, nor the responsibilities that came with it. Once we became parents, we exist only to provide for them, to teach and to share. Our wants become subordinate to their wants. It did not stop with getting them weaned from a bottle, or potty-trained. Their new body-control skills seemed to free us up to do a little more of "our own thing." Getting them trained to self-govern and monitor themselves, freed us up a little more, but their demands never ceased. They increased. By the time they reached an "age of accountability," their demands for understanding skyrocketed. Unfortunately, most of us were left to the instruction of strangers.

The children of working parents spend less time with their parents than anyone else. Most children spend an average of 60 hours per week with their teachers, day-care, and baby-sitters. We then spend part-time evenings with our children while working their attention around interaction with our spouses, our hobbies, and our escapes. Is it no wonder that our children rebel at their correction and parental attention when they become teens?

Let every father and mother realize
that when their child is three years of age,
they have done more than half
that they will ever do for its character.
-Horace Buchnell

400. WORTHLESS. By the time we were three, we had learned the true worthlessness of our existence. We knew who we were. We knew that we were shameful and dirty.

Religious fanatics and Puritist taught us that our bodies were disgusting and naughty. We were taught shame. Other children only confirmed these misaligned truths. They too, had been taught to not touch certain parts of their body. If they did some personal act in public, that embarrassed an adult, they were violently set upon.

The negative attention had profound affect. Is it no wonder that we have sexually oriented problems in our relationships? It is now understandable why we have difficulty showing affection.

Many religionist twisted the truths, twisted the proverb... spare the rod and spoil the child into an admonishment to beat the living daylights from their children. They thought that you must crush the willful spirit from children. This premise was carried over from our grandparents education with "a ruler on the knuckles," Dunce Hats, and their education being "...taught to the tune of a hickory stick."

Our forefathers did not properly discern that the proverb truly meant for them to...

spare the rod...
(put it away)

and spoil the child...
(lavish them with love and attention).

It was not talking about spoiling the child with gifts and physical things. It was talking about the fact that we were supposed to spoil the child with our time and intellect. We are supposed to teach them, educate them and lavish them with our knowledge and attention.

401. CHOICES. You have the choice between remaining a victim of your childhood, or recognizing the misinterpretation of your understanding, and then becoming empowered through your new understanding.

The Universe propagates its own secured existence in what proves it right... what reveals its own justice.

402. INNER CHILD WORK. Most of us, and the world, haven’t even known that an inner child exists. Up until now, even in inner child work, the inner child has been viewed as that little two, three, or four year old within us. He/she has been the one inside of our subconscious mind, that has been filled with doubt and needs. He/she has been the one filled with low self-esteem, filled with negative associations. They are the ones who have fought our adult good intentions. Until you address this inner child, you may never become what you truly want to become. (There are many works published on inner child work, found in the "self-help" section of retail book stores).

Up until now, in inner child circles, the childish self-centered rebellion of the inner child has been, what kept us from achieving our conscious desires, from living according to our principles, from fulfilling our dreams. Before you finish The MANUAL FOR MANKIND, you will discover who the inner child truly is....

For now, let us continue on the familiar premise, that the inner child is causing an emotional disturbance, and that we will be the one who heals the inner child. This concept has done great good and made the world aware of inner child work. Just keep in mind, that it is not an UILTIMATE TRUTH.

---

AN INNER CHILD EXCURSION.

Personal Story

I was apprehensive, maybe a little scared. I wondered what would happen, what my subconscious would reveal, if it could reveal anything at all. Could I trust my guide? Would I be humiliated? Was this stuff real? I have since discovered that these type of concerns are rather typical and reflect our fears of opening ourself up to the world of the unknown.

If your spirit trusts your guide, the person who will lead you into the inner child experience, then trust your spirit. You will not betray yourself. Your guide cannot really betray you. It is not within their power. We can only betray ourselves, or give permission for betrayal. Inner child work is not about betrayal... it is about self-discovery, about healing.... The information that is revealed only concerns our own self. Only you can properly interpret it. All that the guide can do, is point out some of the significance concerning certain facts, and the significance is only significant to our own self and none else.

I was introduced to a meditative state. I relaxed and freed up my mind to receive the direction of my guide. My guide helped me to focus my attention upon words that were soothing... calming... peaceful. As I grew more relaxed and my conscious mind disengaged its desperate plodding, I felt the peace encompass my spirit. I felt that I was a long time coming to this place, and then I reminded myself of Wayne Dyer's belief, expressed in his latest book, Real Magic, "When the student is ready... the teacher will appear." I was ready. My teacher had appeared. I was entering my first inner child experience.

I was in control... I could still think... I wasn’t truly hypnotized, and yet, I wanted to open my subconscious as much as I could. I followed my guides direction and responded as honestly as I knew how.

The guide invited me to envision certain images that led me down a path and toward a cave. I did not realize that all of my seemingly spontaneous answers were answers that were from deep within my readiness to be healed. The answers lay waiting for the opportunity to reveal themselves.

As I entered the cave and explored the interior, I encountered manifestations of masculine and feminine roles. I responded with reactions and answers that I did not understand. I had no idea where they came from. Where they came from was not important. I wondered if I could not just make up fanciful answers. Even that was not important. I gave the answer that first manifest itself to my conscious mind, and then sometimes, I felt like I wanted to change my first answer for no apparent reason.

Later, when I exited the cave and returned to the original path, it was not the same path, and my perception of the cave entrance was different. I did not know what had transpired, but my responses anxiously awaited my introduction to associative interpretation.

Through discussing my experience, I discovered what role my parents played in my development. I found out where my initial lack of interaction with my father had caused walls to subconsciously construct themselves in my youth and how this lack of interaction had influenced my thinking for the rest of my life.

I discovered how my mother had been forced to accept "father type" roles, to give me my masculine development.

The interpretation of my answers revealed understanding that only I could attach significance to. The answers had sprung up from my desire for understanding, and pieces of my lost childhood were being revealed to me. I was able to have interaction with a father I did not know. He was absent from my childhood, and yet, I was able to gain new insights into that absence, and his influence in my life, even though he had not been there to directly influence me.

Before I left my awareness cave, I did healing and forgiveness work with both my mother and my father, and I released them from the responsibility of my own interpretations of life. I was gaining my freedom. I was learning why I was the way I am. I was, finally, really and truly growing....

My perspective of life has forever changed from a thirty minute excursion into my own spiritual center. I will never be the same. My new awareness has shed light upon my childhood, a childhood I had buried in pain and shame, and from which I could now use to free myself from every one else’s interpretation of who I was supposed to be. I now began to interpret my own identity. My healing lay within my own answers. The answers could not be just creative or fanciful. My subconscious had waited so very long for this inner healing... too long to ever betray myself....

403. ADDRESSING your Inner Child is simple and yet complex. Once you have become aware of his/her existence, it is simple to nurture them. You will give them attention, and there are several ways to do it. It is only complex, because of the profound deep-seated power that a wrongful interpretation may have over our psyche. You will have to discover the exact depth of interaction your own inner child requires.

404. INNER BALANCE. It is the child within, that keeps us balanced and in tune with the Universe. When we locate the child, we locate our center. We can then begin to minister to our hearts.

405. NATURAL REBELLION. The deeper we bury the child beneath layers of sophistication, ego, and pride, the more the child rebels and cries out for attention and control.

406. LOOK! To discover the child, we must look within. We must look beyond the image that we convey to others. We must look past the facade, past the mask we present to the world.

The voice of truth
is our inner consciousness,
and that consciousness
is
the inner child.

J

---

In their earliest formative years, the child was more sensitive to the spiritual perfection of the Universe. They were more sensitive to truth and love. Even though they were being programmed by loving parents, they were aware of the conflicting wrongness. The child knows what is truly "right" because they were programmed by adults that were mostly wrong.

This "mostly wrong" is the child's only reference. They do know what they must do to have their needs met. They just want to be comfortable and secure, and so, most often, they rebel against the unknown, the different, and the laborious.

Even so, our inner child is most often more mature than our "normal" conscious activity, because our conscious activity is governed by our adult habit patterns. Our conflicts come when we have a distorted sense of "what" is right and wrong.

The adults, who should have been "mostly" right, were mostly wrong, so our inner child is not sure who to listen to. He discovered he was worthless by adult example... and yet, we have discovered that we are not worthless... but adults have lied to the child before... and yet this adult appears to be trying to help... even though he is yielding to destructive habits... we know that they love us... or at least, we think that they love us... and so the struggle goes.

407. HUMILIATION. The insecurity that we experience, when we must speak or perform publicly is an example of our lack of self-confidence, or a shining example of the level of our self-worth. The more difficult it is to perform well, under examination, the more wounded our inner conscious. It doesn’t really matter how we perform in front of the crowd. It doesn’t really matter what their reaction. We already know that we will do poorly. We already know our own inabilities. That is why we are afraid. We do not want to be embarrassed or humiliated any further. Any negative reactions we experience, are simply a confirmation of how we already feel about ourself, so we automatically pick up on them, and add them to our self-worth personal interpretation.

408. SELF-EVALUATION. We may now stop adding the negative reactions of others to our own self-worth evaluation. We could just as easily have spoken or performed in an outstanding manner, and just one negative comment, expressed out of extreme jealousy, will cause us to reach for it in desperation, to confirm our interpretation of our own self-worth.

Universal Truth
XXVI
Self-discovery is more powerful
than self-evaluation

409. SELF-DISCOVERY. When we discover who we truly are, and that we were simply beguiled, we can change, because our discovery of why we are the way we are, is more emotionally stimulating, then the continued preexistent negative evaluation of ourself. The principles of pleasure/gratification/stimulation are fed more actively by the new awareness.

1. We receive pleasure when we discover that... "it is not all our fault."

2. We are gratified by the relief we feel when we discover that we can change our interpretation of “who’s fault it is.”

3. Pleasure and gratification are both powerful stimulants and seek automatically to further stimulation... and so we can more easily align ourself with our new awareness, than with our painful past.

410. AN AGE OF DISCOVERY. It becomes easier to change than to remain the same. It is our innermost self that appears to have been experiencing the confusion. Most inner child workers believe that the inner child wants to desperately receive the new discoveries, but he is afraid that they may be just one more lie, and so they think the inner child responds defensively. According to the experts, as long as the new discoveries are fed, and/or stimulated, the inner child will continue to develop in their acceptability.

It has been believed that the inner child wants to believe, but it is difficult because they have just been hurt and lied to, so many times. The more the new discoveries are confirmed, the more they are able to be embraced. This is why it has been called "nurturing." The little child wants attention, wants to be coddled and pampered. It is why we should always hug and comfort a child after correction. He must be assured that he personally is all right, that his actions were what were wrong, and not his person that was offensive. He needs love and attention. In mere moments, a crying scolded child will forget the correction, when it is enveloped in loving affection. The loving attention is more powerful than the negative memory.

411. THE DIRECTOR OF LIFE. Our inner child is not only our conscious, he is the master of our memory. Every experience that we have ever experienced, is recorded selectively by association. Because he has clung to confirmations of his own perceptions, these confirmations are filed together, to feed our interpretation. They are readily accessed, so that he may at least feel the "rightness" of our interpretation. It doesn’t matter if the interpretations are correct. What matters, is that they support our identity. When we become aware of the potential of new identity, we begin layering the new interpretations over the previous interpretations. It is necessary to enter thousands of new definitions to counteract the previous memories. Those memories have been added upon for years and years.

It is possible, though, to overwrite the past interpretations, and it is easier than we might at first perceive.

---

NOTE: This next story was submitted by the author's mother. It has helped her son to discover why his mother did to him what was done to her, and how he may have passed this on to his own children. It is another variation of an inner child excursion.

A CHILD’S QUEST

Personal Story

I backed the car out of the garage to run a few last minute errands. I turned down a winding two-lane country road. As I drove along, I felt an uncomfortable feeling gnawing away at my insides. Christmas day is drawing near. As I reviewed my holiday accomplishments, I thought everything was running pretty smooth. The gifts were all wrapped for the family party. The gifts that were to be shipped had left on time, or at least most of them did. The house had been decorated for weeks. So, why was my chest hurting so bad that I could hardly breath. I searched my heart until I found the answer. It was guilt. I had lied again!

Why did I do that? There had been absolutely no reason for it. My husband had asked a simple question of me and I stretched the truth by fifteen minutes. I told him our grandchild had left at 9:30, when our daughter had really taken her home at 9:15. I could not understand why I found it necessary to make such an issue of this matter. It was just a little stretching of the truth. Who else would make an issue of just fifteen minutes? It was inconsequential, hurt no one, and yet I felt overwhelmed with shame.

I have been working a recovery program for years. I sponsor three warm and loving ladies that respect and trust me. I have always told them, "Low self-esteem is at the very core of all our addictive behaviors," and that, "No matter how we got our low self-esteem... we do not have to remain a victim today." I was forced to now tell myself what I always share with my friends. No matter how well we seem to be doing on the surface, self-esteem will rear its ugly head again and again to contaminate our life day after day.

My thoughts ramble, as I feel the tears start welling up inside. What was it that John Bradshaw had said the other day, when he was on the Oprah Show... something about, "Sometimes we have to create the most emotional and powerful visual scene, we can image, in order to deal with an emotionally crippling memory...." He spoke about, "...pain continuing to elude us until we again experience that pain we have kept buried back there." I knew that sometimes this imaging could be drastic, especially when it dealt with the authority figures in our lives, such as abusive parents, foster family members, step relatives, or even institutions. This was not new to me. I had certainly experienced that. Now, it is suggested that I go back and talk to that hurtful person on their death bed?!?

Why? I don’t know why, but I do trust the other inner child work that I have done. If there was the slightest chance that this could be emotionally healthy, I knew that I would do it too. The pain of remembering can’t be any worse than the pain of knowing... and not remembering.

I don’t remember what the lie was about, but it must have made my mother feel at such a loss as to how she could stop this eight year old child from lying. She took the most powerful measure she could imagine. She told me she could never trust me again. She said a parent has to know when a child is telling the truth, and since I told lies, she had decided to stop loving me. I did not deserve to be loved any longer.

My recollection tells me that I cried for days. I know my father’s sister was visiting us from Florida, so there was no chance for me to talk to my mother alone, to ask her forgivness... to ask her to please give me another chance.

Finally the opportunity came on Saturday night as they were getting ready to go out for supper. I was sitting in the bathtub soaking in the warm sudsy water. My chest hurt so bad and the tears kept dripping off my nose as I hung my head in shame. Then, I saw my mother in her navy blue dress with the big white collar, standing in front of the dresser brushing her hair. "Mama," I pleaded through the doorway, "Please tell me you love me.... I will never tell you a lie again.... Please Mamma!" She didn’t hear me. I knew that she didn’t love me. I just sat there and cried. In silence, she finished combing her hair and put on her makeup. And then, after what seemed like forever, mother turned and walked into the bathroom. She looked me straight in the eyes, and said, "Do you promise that you will never never tell me another lie?" I answered tearfully, "No mamma, I promise, I will never never tell you another lie." I was so grateful that she would give me another chance.

In all of my recovery work, I have never been able to see myself as I can today. Usually I see myself in my thirties. But on this day before Christmas, even though tears are blurring my vision, I clearly see myself as I am at this very moment... gray curly hair, chubby, wearing my stone washed jeans and IOU sweatshirt. I saw my mother in the white bed they had brought home for her after her last hospital stay. She was wearing a blue sleeveless baby doll gown, with tiny yellow roses on it. Mom’s hair was still brown -she probably didn’t have a dozen grey hairs total. Like me, she had spent her whole life fighting the battle with food, only she had lost long ago. And now she was losing a battle with cancer. She trusted me now. As I walked toward her bed, she stretched out both her arms and slipped over the side to take hold of my hands. I told her, "Mom, we are going to go see little Georgia."

Hand in hand, we started down the hallway, Mom, barefooted in her short little gown, and me leading the way. She came so trustingly. We both knew it would be OK.

There was little Georgia, just before us, sitting in the tub of suds... waiting on us. She looked so fragile with her skinny little arms buried in the bubbles. Her face was hidden as she looked down into the water. She was such a tiny little girl, with her straight dark brown hair parted in the middle and bangs straight across. My mother stood beside me, still holding my hand. She looked childlike too. I could feel her total trust in me... she knew that we would all be OK. I spoke to little Georgia. I told her we had come here because we loved her. We wanted her to know how very special she was, and that we would never abandon her.

As I looked at Georgia, with her face still looking down, I suddenly saw the experiences that lie ahead of her; the pain she would endure as she was molested and assaulted, the physical and emotional abuse she would have to carry in her own heart, the marriages, the divorces, the widowing... the guilt she would feel for believing she was such a failure to her children for enmeshing them in the family system of misery.... If she could see what was ahead of her, it would crush her.

I also knew that she would never give up, even though she would want to die, I knew she would learn how to fight the "dysfunctional family syndrome." I knew that she would lead the way to recovery for all those who would love her and trust her. Through her, they could know that there is hope... that they too could make it... and that there could even be joy.

I spoke to her then.... "Dearest Georgia. If you knew what lay ahead of you, you could not possibly make it. But you don’t know, so you will keep on, one day at a time, living each experience as it occurs, sometimes hurting beyond belief, but surviving one day at a time. You are wonderful, Georgia. You are so special. You were given a mission. You will believe that you are so powerless, and yet you will be a person of tremendous strength. You will give much love, and you will know much love."

I took the towel and reached for her warm wet little body and bundled her as if she were a cocoon. She pressed her tiny head against the curve of my shoulder and neck. We become as one....

The three of us started back down that hallway together. We knew that it was done. We will, none of us, ever be alone again.

412. Overwriting the past will require desire, attention, and discipline. All three are required to properly nurture any child. Every child must feel the desire, the love that the parent has for the child. If the child feels a lack of desire, a lack of attention, he feels unwanted.

Desire is critical and fed through attention. The attention cultivates the correct responses, as long as the desire is coupled with discipline. If you do not correct a child when he knows he is doing wrong, he will seek more attention by performing more wrong. It is here, that we get unbalanced. If we could have had an equally balanced application of love manifest through unselfish attention, confirmed with moderate correction, we would have yielded a more balanced personality. As it was, our parents were unaware of the extreme urgency of the balanced "nurture," and so we inadvertently suffered.

413. THE BALANCE. It is up to us to administer the desire, the attention, and the discipline.

The desire, again, is manifest through the attention that we give to ourselves. The discipline is not a physical correction, as much as a mental program to face our issues, heal our self-interpretation, and become what the little child always wanted to become... when he grew up.

We manifest love when we stimulate the new awareness. We stimulate the new awareness when we give attention to our personal growth. We obtain personal growth by disciplining our old nature. Just as this direction is positive and begins to build upon itself, the lack of action also builds upon its own self. If we do not exercise discipline, our inaction becomes a confirmation of our own low self-esteem. One way or the other, we are constructing our memories, either through action... or inaction.

414. OPPOSITES. Herein lies another REALITY OPPOSITE! Inaction appears easier than action, but is more destructive and requires more mental activity to contend with the negatives.

Action appears more difficult than inaction, because it requires effort, but the result is more constructive to our consciousness and requires no mental contention.

The positives stimulate instead of aggravate. We have peace instead of contention. The seemingly more difficult is truly the easier route to travel.

415. IMAGINATION. We can only "discover" when we are searching our self. We can only search when we are quiet and alone. It is then, that the answers will come. They will come during meditation. Affirmations reassure the imagination. Creative visualization will stimulate the imagination. The imagination is in tune with the essence of the Universe. It is the imagination that is the interpreter of reality. Our imagination defines how we respond to outside actions. We imagine it to be painful, embarrassing, or humiliating, or we imagine learning, experience, and personal growth.

416. Affirmations are positive definitions of our new awareness. They are different for everyone. Each of us are unique in our personal interpretations of life, and so we respond to different awarenesses. Affirmations should focus us on our desired direction, our imagined potential.

417. MIRRORWORK. Affirmations work best when delivered in front of a mirror, when looking into our own eyes. Every correction we ever received in our life was delivered to us with eye contact and/or with hand communication added for emphasis. We were pointed at and threatened with sharp corrective gestures.

418. GESTURING adds confirmation to our words. It might feel silly, at first (that is just our adult side) but if you point authoritatively at yourself, while speaking your affirmations, you will lend credulity to your statements. Remember, you are just a child, and we all were pointed at with parental pointedness.

419. INDIVIDUALIZING TECHNIQUE. When faced with negative attitudes and negative associations, we must momentarily pause and remind ourselves that we are individuals. We may well have been subjected to dysfunction, but now, they are simply "unhealthy habits" that we choose to release. We release them by recognizing them for what they are, and reminding ourselves,

"That was then... and this is now.
I am not my mother or father.
I am not my brother or sister.
I am not my grandparents.
I am me... I am an individual...
and I no longer live under the
domination of dysfunction."

420. ORIGINATION TECHNIQUE. As we obtain these new awarenesses and activate them in our own world of healing, we may encounter overwhelming feelings of frustration and anger. By learning acceptance of these feelings, we strengthen our internal conditioning. We are "feeling," because we are healing. Our healing comes because of our feeling. The more that we feel, the greater our healing. It is OK to return to our origins. What we encounter will perhaps temporarily overwhelm us, but it is through the acceptance of emotion that we may address our feelings and find total healing.

421. EXCURSIONS. For serious self-esteem work. Take inner excursions into your subconscious mind and personally address your inner child. Spend time with him/her. An adept guide is a blessing who can lead you, the first few times, through the inner world of "remembering."

---

REENTERING THE WOMB

Personal Story

SPECIAL NOTE: Grandfather, if you read this, please forgive me, if you consider me to be insensitive. I am sorry if I wound your memories of grandmother. I must tell the story, though, because there are more minds and lives at stake than our own. I am the one who was conceived... unwanted. This unwantedness, this not feeling "right" about being here... this belief that I was not deserving of life... is what caused me to feel suicidal. It is what made me feel like I did not belong on this planet... that I was a bastard, and did not belong anywhere. I never understood, until now, why I was driven endlessly toward suicidal tendencies, so as to fulfill my understanding that I did not deserve life. I know that grandma came to love me greatly. I also know that her participation in her secret organization, was evidence of her own search for truth. She would want our children, and our children's children to have these truths. There are not only my children's lives at stake, but the countless others who have suffered, alone, with their own preexistent memories. And if there are any other relatives who feel dishonored... I apologize. You will just have to deal with it.

You may wish to discount the possibility of this type of experience, but it is as real to me as this page is a reality in my present life. I have a new understanding of who I am, and why I am here. It is not arguable, no matter what our upbringing or religious persuasions.

It is my reality....

My second inner child excursion was to return to my origins. I was nervous but anxious to begin. I felt apprehension toward the unknown, but a fervent desire to return to that wonderful subconscious state that enabled me to reveal my hidden past. After my first inner child excursion, I knew that I would return often.

It originally sounded very strange to consider the suggestion of "...returning to the womb." I could not believe that I would have any recall of such an early state of existence. Little did I know what I was about to REexperience....

Please remember that this experience is totally mine. It is not her power of suggestion. I could open my eyes at any time. I was not hypnotized. I was only in a relaxed and meditative state and I do know the difference between meditative and hypnotic. The results are MY responses to her questions. I willingly chose to return and reexperience what had transpired in my life over forty-one years ago, from an infant period of time when I, as an adult, fully believed that it would be impossible to recall anything at all.

As I drifted deeper into my meditative state, I felt the anxiousness melt away. My guide was more than proficient. I willingly yielded to her direction.

We began by imaging myself into my preexistent state as a spirit entity awaiting my earthly birth. I quickly understood that it was my time to come to earth, to acquire my body, and to begin my life. I had an important mission to accomplish, and the path that I chose would be full of danger, trials, and tribulation.

It seemed as if it were only moments ago that I had visited with my future mother. We joyfully bantered about the trials that we promised each other, but seriously promised to do our best to help each other to accomplish our purpose in that mysterious world to come.

She had gone ahead and now I awaited my moment to follow. I watched curiously as the sperm of my chosen father joined with the egg of my chosen mother, and then at the exact moment of joining, I too joined with them. After I mentally made the decision to enter my spirit into that egg, my first sensation was of warmth and darkness. It was not long though, until I felt waves of shame and guilt. I now had a physical body and these were new emotions that I had never felt. They seemed to subside but came in ever increasing intensity. I became aware that my grandmother-to-be referred to me as a bastard. It rang in my mind and I recoiled from the negative force that beat against my psyche.

Month after month past, while I continued to feel the confused emotions of shame, and anger, and a new emotion... pride. I became aware of sickness and pressure. I was conscious that everyone felt negatively toward me. I did not understand these new emotions. Was this new world filled with such total confusion?

Eventually the day arrived for by birthing and I made the decision. I chose to come into this world, even though I knew that I was not wanted. The moment that I was placed in my mothers arms, I sensed that she no longer felt shame. I did not understand why she had felt the shame, because it was only a short while back, that we had been talking about this moment, and then I remembered how we were supposed to forget so much, when we entered this new existence.... She had forgotten why we had come here. She did not remember our choices. She had become disoriented. We were warned of that.

Later, I looked at my father and sensed his fear and insecurity. He had forgotten too. I looked upon him and recognized the turmoil in his heart. I saw that he would leave me and, so I accepted this awareness, and then released him from his self-interpreted obligations. He had served his purpose. I was here, and now I could begin. I wanted to move forward, but I was forced to lie there... and wait.

I remembered my maternal grandmothers’ anger. She could not wash away the shame that was in her heart. She wanted to love me, but she was afraid to love a "bastard." They could not understand that my being here was important, and that I was the one who had chosen this path, so that I might learn all of the lessons that I could possibly learn, so that I would be properly equipped to fulfill my destiny.

I lay there with my mother for the longest time. I could sense the world around me and see the spirits that possessed the bodies of the humans that helped to provide my own body. I knew them when....

I was so close to my spirit existence, and yet, I knew that I was an alien in a strange world, a spirit being in a human body. It would not be long until I too would forget from where I had just come. Already the glow that was about my body was fading and I lay there, quiet, and feeling so alone. I looked forward through time.

Eventually, I watched as I entered the room as an adult. I saw myself as I would be, when I was a grown man. I stood there waiting for me, and then I made the choice. I chose to merge with my future. I became who I was to become.

The earthly clock was already working against my mortal body and I knew that it was time to return to my conscious state in the future. I did not want to remain here while my spiritual light dimmed into total forgetfulness. I returned to this world forty one years later.

When I opened my eyes, I was emotionally overwhelmed with gratification and pleasure. I now had the recall of my birth. I now realized how important it was to have made the choices that I had made. I never understood how aware I had been in that infant state. We all forget. The feelings of spiritual sensitivity that enabled me to acquire the human body were still fresh in my mind, as if it were only fleeting moments ago. I recognized all of the feelings, as if I had always known that they existed, and as if I were only remembering them now.

I knew that I had not imagined this state of awareness, but that it was as real for me as any experience that I would ever know. By reentering this experience, that is contained in my premortal mind, I was able to recall the significance of the choices that I eventually had forgotten.

Two days later, when I questioned my mother about my birth, I had the confirmation of my new reality. My responses were not my imagination. They were my actual memories that I had no way of imagining. No one, not my mother, nor my father, nor my grandmother, had ever revealed their shame, and guilt, and anger. It remained a secret shame. No one ever confessed the truths that I, myself, discovered about my infancy, through inner child awareness.

First, my mother admitted that she had worn extremely tight girdles, and sometimes even two girdles, to help hide the fact that she was further along than she should have been. Now I understood why I had always felt so much tightness and pressure.

Second, she confessed to the extreme moments of shame that continually drove her into fits of depression. Now, I knew why I had experienced shame.

Third, my mother was emotionally moved to hear me profess my knowledge of my grandmother calling me a bastard. She then related how my grandmother had continually berated my mother with her concern as to whether I could ever go to heaven... since I was a bastard child.

Now, I knew a truth that was never spoken after my birth. My grandmother’s fears were only expressed during my mother's prenatal development. There was absolutely no way that I could have known of these emotions before I was born, except by the experience that I had just undergone.

With the confirmation of my mother's confessions, I knew once and for all, that the inner child experience offered truly powerful healing potential.

My grandmother eventually came to love me. She never held my existence against me. She had used the "bastard" accusation only to punish my mother.

I don’t believe that I ever had confirmed previous knowledge that I was illegitimately conceived, but now it was a certainty. As an adult, it vaguely seems as if my mother had alluded to the fact, but I'm not sure if I understood, or if I knew, and had chosen to bury the knowledge. This new and sure "knowing" of my conception would normally be a burden, except for my added awareness surrounding my birth. I now have the memories of my inner knowingness!

I know that I chose this path, and that there is no reason to feel shame. I came here for a purpose, and I now have the memory of my infant understanding. The infant does not feel shame. I had just come from the spirit world, and did not know of the interpretation that man would place upon my conception. There was no shame of my choices in the spirit world. They were considered valiant and chosen to further my earthly education and personal progression.

I felt new. I felt the all-knowing wisdom of the infant. I felt the power of the infant’s spiritual sensitivity. I understood life from a new perspective. I had made physical choices. I chose to come here. I chose to be born in that place, in that manner.

I now knew of a certainty, that I had been illegitimately conceived. I now knew of the early pressure on my consciousness and the waves of shame that flooded my infant body. I now have an understanding of my grandmother’s earliest beliefs about me.

Most importantly, I know that I chose this path, and released my father from his obligations.

My understanding of life is now open... waiting... and ready. I look forward, anxiously, to my next inner child excursion. What will I discover about myself the next time?

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting;
The soul that rises with us, our lifes’ star,
hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar.

Not in entire forgetfulness
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God who is our home.
-William Wordsworth

422. VISUALIZATION TECHNIQUE. You can visualize yourself as a three year old (a photograph of yourself at three helps). Mentally shrink that image, and visualize your placing him inside your heart where you can give him/her all of the attention that he/she needs. Learn more on this in most of the many works on inner child healing.

423. PICTURING. Obtain as many photographs as you can, of yourself at two through four years old. Study them and see if you don’t recognize some doubt and hurts. See if you don’t recognize forced smiles in the staged pictures. Pick one of these reflections and make copies. Put one in your wallet, so you have it with you always. Place one by your bed to wake up to every day and go to sleep to every night. Become attuned to your hurts and frustrations and see if they don’t correspond to attention and feelings of worthlessness. Love that little baby. Learn more on this in any one of the many works on inner child healing.

424. TEDDYBEARING. Displacement is one technique that has received much positive return. Teddy Bears are used to associate nurturing feelings, while pillows, or cushions, are used to release hostility and anger. When someone is overwhelmed with anger, it is surprising to see just how much frustration can be harmlessly discharged into beating and screaming at a pillow. It also feels very good to direct love toward a Teddy Bear, that represents yourself at the age of three. It is OK to be childlike, to vent your inner feelings.

It is your time to heal.
It is your day to return to your second childhood.
It is the children’s hour.

Between the dark and the daylight,
When the night is beginning to lower,
Comes a pause in the day’s occupations,
That is known as the Children’s Hour.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

425. AUTOPROGRAMMING. Write scripts of playing and discussions that you will participate in, with your inner child. Record these scenarios on to a tape and then listen to them in a meditative state. The whole time you are listening, you are spending time with your inner child.

NOTE: More detail will be given to autoprogramming in the AUTOPROGRAMMING Section.

426. NURTURING. All of these techniques are types of nurturing. By actively participating in any of these techniques, we send nurturing messages to our inner child. We tell ourselves that we are worth the time and energy required to address and heal our wounded past. We build our self-esteem. We tell ourselves that we are important. We send ourselves messages of healing.

Daddy said:
"All children must look after their own upbringing."
Parents can only give good advice
or put them on the right paths,
but the final forming of a person's character
lies in their own hands.
-Anne Frank

427. KEEPING the techniques simple is essential. These simple momentary tasks in the potentially long and stressful days are islands of refuge. We can escape positively into quiet inner moments of reflection and awareness. We can effectively displace the stress, the despair, and the burnout.

428. ADDRESSING PAIN. One of the best things about addressing pain, is that once it is accepted, it passes on... if we face it. Once you fully address the cause of pain, you can move beyond it.

429. HEALING will come. You can win your inner child’s confidence and support. You can free yourself from anger and low self-esteem. You must be very conscientious of your needs. Read, and study, and nurture. We understand that many of us did not really comprehend the depth of responsibility that comes with searching to grow financially, socially, and spiritually. Do not be afraid. Once you discover your inner child... you will fall in love with him/her, and the added responsibilities will be a small price to pay for the freedom that comes with "self-love."

NOTE: to those of you who are doing inner child work: The times that you feel anxious, or return to exhibiting negative tendencies, are moments that your inner child is trying to get your attention. They are trying to get you to give them nurturing. If you respond to the negative distressful emotions with positive nurturing attention, the negative feelings will fade quickly. There is no more reason to enter crisis situations. You can nurture your inner child before the crisis reaches catastrophe.

It is up to you and I.
No one will do it for us.

First...
we will heal ourself,
and then...
we will extend our healing to the world.

---

The Transformed Life

Personal Story

I apologize to any family members who might not understand. I am sorry if I hurt your feelings. This story is an effort to free our loved ones from ignorance, after all, we are all adults now, and there are our children to think of.

It was the first inner child workshop that I had ever attended, and I really didn't know what to expect. Cliff Custer, the father of the inner child experience, was to direct it, along with his wife Sandi. Cliff has been a consultant to many secular organizations, psychologists, psychiatrists, ministers and priests, for over 19 years. Sandi has a background in social work and has completed her graduate work in Marriage, Family, and Child Counseling. Sandi has also operated a very successful private practice for the last several years. I was getting to participate in what I hoped would be one of the greatest experiences of my life. I realized that I might have too many false expectations, but even John Bradshaw, a recognized leader in inner child work, has referred to Cliff as the "Roving Prophet." I wondered why....

I was filled with anticipation. I had been doing inner child work for quite some time and had worked my way through alienation and forgiveness of both my mother, and my father, and what I had already experienced had added new understanding to my interpretation of who I was. I wondered what more work there could be to do.

There were initially twenty-one of us who showed up for the workshop. The number grew each day until finally there were thirty "inner explorers." After a preliminary introduction, we numbered off by the one/two method, and I found myself with one other man and ten women, who were to be directed by Sandi. I was disappointed that I couldn't be in Cliff's group, and that I was stuck with a bunch of women!?!

Immediately, I felt some form of rebelliousness that I couldn't quite identify. Sandi asked me something and I felt defensive. I wondered what was happening. I know, now, that my negative self was trying to alienate me and push me away from receiving the miracle that was to shortly unfold in my life.

We were asked to consider this question:

"I feel pain as a... (father/brother/son/choose one),
when I think about... fill in the blank."

In the women's case it was:

"I feel pain as a (mother/sister/or daughter),
when I.... fill in the blank."

I couldn't think of any pain, as a father, a brother, or a son. As I watched, person after person struggled through issues of family alienation. I personally felt secure in my knowledge that I was safe from any kind of need to work on my parents. As I listened, I internally began to debate the pain issue. I didn't think there was anything to search out, but essentially, I was in denial. I knew about inner child work, but I thought that I had done most of it, and didn't need any more personal work. I was no different than the people I had told about inner child work, who refused to accept its healing possibilities, or who refused to admit that their parents could ever have done anything wrong.

I have done a lot of inner child work. I have had several inner child excursions, and I knew what to look for, but I was not conscious of any painful memories. My previous inner child work had freed me from most of my past painful experiences, and I simply could not think of anything else to work on. I remembered my mother trying to tell me that I had reasons for pain, given to me from her, but I could never remember anything but a loving and gracious mother.

When I was asked to write down how my inner child felt about our potential inner child weekend, I wrote: My inner child is cooperative, loving, and trusting. He is excited to see where we are going, and now realizes that we are on a great adventure. He is three years old, and we look deeply into each others eyes. He knows that I will come to him every day. He really trusts me and loves the attention I am giving him. My inner child led me to this place.

I felt content with my previous inner child experiences, and trusted the visions that I had received in the past. Many of the others, in the group, had expressed anxiousness about their inner child. All of us have been cautioned about the ruckus that an inner child can kick up, if left unattended, so we were very conscious of doing this work and then following up with nurturing attention and support. Try as I might, I simply could not think of any painful memories. I wrongfully supposed that this meant that I was pretty well balanced and advanced in my healing. Wrooooong!

We were also asked to choose and write down, five women and five men, that we most admired and would want to be like, and what it was that we admired about them. I had no problem with the men....

#1. Martin Luther King, a visionary, sensitive minister. Martin Luther king was the only real person.

The rest were either mythical, or characters in the movies. I had no father figure to identify with in my pre-three year-old male-identity formative years.

#2. Sherlock Holmes, sensitive, perceptive, and very analytical.

#3. William Powell, always the perfect & sensitive gentleman, as Nick Charles in his Thin Man series.

#4. Jimmy Stewart, whose character portrayed someone simple and sensitive, in his movie role in It's A Wonderful Life.

#5. Bing Crosby, gentle and sensitive, also another minister, in his movie role in The Bells Of St. Mary's.

After writing them down, I realized the common quality, inherit in each of them. All of these men shared the attribute of sensitivity. Also, each one was involved in detective work (searching). All my life, I struggled over being sensitive. I wanted to be sensitive, but I felt the need to be masculine, and the two obviously didn't mix, did they?

I thought and thought about my list of women, but try as I might, I couldn't think of any woman that I admired, other than Myrna Loy, in her role in the 1930's Thin Man movie series. I admired Myrna because she was loyal, elegant, girlishly feminine, and always game to try anything. Basically, she was a model of womanly perfection. Like Sherlock Holmes, and William Powell, she also enjoyed detective work, gathering facts, and being analytical about the information she gathered for her loving husband, Nickie. She too was involved in searching, just like the men. WOW! What a girl!

When it was finally my time to discuss my pain, I could think of nothing to discuss, so we looked at my list of most admired people. There was obviously some significance in the fact that I could think of no women that I admired, and the only one I did, was a fictional character.

I told Sandi, and the group, about my other inner child excursions, about my love for my mother, and my life being raised by my mother at my grandmother's house.

Did you notice that it was not my grandfather's house... it was my grandmother's house?

Sandi asked if I had ever done any work on my grandmother? I replied that I hadn't, and then I noticed a certain disturbance in my heart. My spirit was suddenly stirring up a memory of a scene in my grandmother's home, back when I and my mother lived with them, during my mom's divorced period.

It was my grandmother's place, because my grandfather was always gone on a ship as an engineer. When my mom divorced my father, she moved back in with her mom, my grandmother. I was surrounded by women, just like I was in the room, right now. There was my grandmother, my great grandmother, my mother, my aunt, and there was my uncle, who was still a boy and offered no masculine influence. His father, my grandfather, was absent in his life also, and could offer him only small portions of masculine example.

As Sandi questioned my feelings surrounding my grandmother, my heart began to beat faster in my breast. I could tell this was leading somewhere, and I felt afraid of where it might lead. I felt threatened by all of the women who were present in the room, and I didn't know why. Sandi's questioning led me to talk about my expressed security in my present celibate state. I was divorced, free, and thoroughly happy. I didn't want to date, because I was afraid I would lose my sexual energy, if I entered any relationship with a woman. At present, I was able to direct all of my sexual energy into my work, and I felt safe there.

It was obvious to the group that I was associating sexuality with women, and I felt threatened by the potential relationship I would be forced into, if I entered an intimate relationship with a woman. I often thought that I was a misogynist, and proudly considered myself to be a charter member in the Woman Hater's Club. Except for the few girls that I could have a platonic relationship with, I looked at women as insubstantial, flighty, insensitive, selfish creatures who would manipulate everyone and everything into absolute total chaos!!!

Was it just coincidence, that I was now in a group composed primarily of women? Was it just a coincidence that I was being questioned by a woman? Was it just a coincidence that I felt threatened by Sandi, a woman in a position of authority? Was it a coincidence that our questioning led us into a conversation about my life with my grandmother, and a house filled with women, and no masculine role model? I think not....

Finally, a much unwanted memory solidified in my conscious awareness. I remembered a scene that happened more than once, in grandmother's kitchen.

My grandmother and my great grandmother were working at the sink, while my mother sat at the kitchen table. I was lying on the floor in front of the sink, where my grandmother and great grandmother repetitiously stepped over me. I had the impression that they stepped over me on purpose, because they teased me about looking up their dresses. I'm sure that I was just a curious little boy, and the interaction held no malicious intent for any of the parties concerned.

I was not aware that the interaction would be considered a form of sexual abuse by today's modern psychological understanding. We know now, that these women should have never stood over me while wearing a dress. They should have never teased me about sexual situations. My mother should have never sat by, and allowed me to be tormented about a subject with sexual nuances.

Sandi asked my permission to lead me into addressing this situation. I eagerly agreed to what obviously held such powerful connotations.

When Sandi asked who I wanted to take with me, as my guide on this inner child excursion, I was again at a loss. It must be some one I trusted... or admired and felt safe with. My first thought was to take Myrna Loy, but most people took someone like Jesus, or Jesus' mother, Mary, who was a perfect example of womanhood. I could think of no one I wanted to take, and so I finally suggested Myrna. Sandi laughed, and related that this would be a first for her. She never had anyone utilize a movie character before.

My choice, again, was not coincidental. Myrna represented my ideal woman, someone I loved and trusted. She was the perfect model of womanhood for me to take into this strange sexually charged scene from my childhood.

I closed my eyes and Sandi began. I entered the scene once more, but this time, with a friend... my friend Myrna. Sandi asked me to lay down once more on that kitchen floor and tell of my feelings associated with this tumultuous event.

I lay there on the floor once again, as a three year old boy, and I was hit with waves of shame. I felt guilty and my grandmother and great grandmother enforced this guilt and shame by teasing me. Blood rushed to my cheeks in embarrassment, as I was teased about my intentions. My grandmother stood over me, and asked me just what I thought I was doing. I lay there looking up at my grandmother, who was a giant towering over me. I could see beneath her dress, but I could also see her face peering down at me. Her eyes were filled with malicious intent. I felt small and inadequate.

I also was conscious that I felt a lack of respect and love from this group of women who represented "unconditional love" in my life. I could feel the depression that presently possessed my body in this state of remembrance. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, as if it were only yesterday.

Sandi asked me to invite Myrna over to help me up off of the floor. The moment I remembered Myrna, the darkness of the memory began to fade, and I felt a small burst of joy, at remembering that I had invited Myrna here. She reached down and lifted me off of the floor and hugged me, reassuring me that I was truly a wonderful little boy, and that I was deserving of love. She spoke with me and confirmed my self-worth and respect. She helped me to understand that I was just a little boy and had known no better. There were other scenes of sexually oriented nightmares tugging at my consciousness, but Myrna helped me to experience and recapture my childlike innocence.

Next, began a strange experience that must come in most episodes of freedom and release from the nightmare of personal identity crisis. I was led to take a weapon from Myrna, so I could slay the imagery of the negative memory. Trusting my guide, Sandi, and my personal guide Myrna, I took the weapon and destroyed the negative powerful woman that towered over me and tormented me. With every strike of the weapon, I struck at the negatives that surrounded my memory that would haunt me for most of my adult life, that would destroy every relationship that I could ever have with a woman, including friendships, a number of semi-serious affairs, and two marriages.

I struck the blows for my freedom from the sexual giant, that stood in between me and the face of a woman I loved, that represented sexuality of women that stood in between me and the intimacy I was never able to experience with any woman I had ever known. I struck the blows for the imagery of dominant women who insecurely sought to control my thoughts and actions. I struck blow after blow at the concept of the betrayal of my mother, who sat helplessly by, and a great grandmother who also delighted in the tormenting and control exercised over me, a representation of men who had betrayed them, who had left them alone, and who had controlled their own emotions.

Exhausted, I finally depleted my anger, and made sure that the image was dead to my consciousness. Once more, Myrna returned to help me up, and stood by me, as I watched a miraculous light fall upon the prostrate representation of my miserably twisted sexual identity. The light brought life back into my grandmother's form and I watched as she reached forth her arms to embrace me. My grandmother had changed now, and I saw her as a little ten-year old girl. I realized that it was truly just another child who had stood over me. It would be just like a ten-year old girl to tease a little boy about things that she did not understand. We asked each other's forgiveness, and promised to love each other for all eternity. I took control of the situation, and made her promise to never torment me again. She agreed and asked my forgiveness once more. Eventually, Myrna led me out of the kitchen, and out of the house and away from those horrible feelings and emotions that had once warped me into an insensitive little boy who had been thoroughly uncomfortable with his own sexuality.

I returned to reality, a new creature. I have shared this potentially humiliating experience with you, for one reason. I want you, too, to realize the potential of one inner child excursion, led by a master director of inner child work. I want you to realize what just one such experience has done for me.

1. I felt free of sexual oppression for the first time in my life. I felt a peace at the end of the excursion like I have never known.

2. I now understood, how I had not been able to have any kind of enduring relationship, because I had been betrayed by those whom I loved.

3. I could comprehend how I had difficultly loving anyone in my life, because my childlike trust had been betrayed at such a tender age.

4. I saw how my associations of love were twisted with feelings of shame and torment, and how these emotions were, up until now, to be inadvertently associated with sex.

5. I saw why I was rebellious toward women, and how I fought against their control in my life.

6. I discovered why I had so little respect for womanhood, and how I fell into confusion with the cult of masculinity. I wanted to be sensitive, just like all of the male models in my list of five most admired men, but I thought you had to be cold and remain aloof from womanhood, who would twist love into sexual manipulation and control.

7. I was able to determine why the only woman I could admire was a fictional character in a movie. She was sweet, loving and loyal. She never betrayed her husband Nickie. I believed that she could never really exist.

8. I realized why I fantasized about a fictional woman, that was perfect in my eyes, and since there could obviously be no woman like her, I would never have to have another relationship with a woman, where I might be hurt by their emotional manipulations.

9. I disclosed why I could never really love a woman or be sensitive toward women in general. If I exhibited tenderness or love, they would ultimately betray me, because all women who loved you would always betray those whom they loved.

10. I now understood why I felt threatened by Sandi, and rebelled at any control she might direct my way. She was a woman in a position of authority.

11. I uncovered the mystery of why this present group of women stirred turmoil in my mind, and why the spirit led me to "accidently" fall into this particular group that would subconsciously stimulate these feelings of insecurity, where I could address them and heal my inner child.

12. I learned that there is more to address, than mother and father, in inner child work. I still have not addressed: a)my great grandmother who participated vicariously by teaching her children, my grandma, the behavioral patterns of insecurity and control; b)my grandfather, who was also never there for me; c)my step father who chased me around our yard, kicking me in the bottom... who broke my finger spanking me, who tormented me with food at every meal; d)or my aunts and uncles who emotionally teased and tormented me into insecurity and inability.

13. I now was certain that the women in my life did not know any better. My great grandmother had been taught the patterns that she passed on to my grandmother, who erroneously passed them on to my mother who mistakenly passed them on to me, who unwittingly passed them on to my own children, by exercising too much control at the potty chair. It was nobodies fault. We didn't know why we behaved the way that we did. It is now certainly easy to understand the concept of passing on the "sins" of the father unto the third and fourth generations.

14. By learning, and understanding, I can work at breaking the genetic patterning, and thereby help my own children to break their learned patterns. I, hopefully, can teach my children to cope with life, instead of turning to a substitute support system, like alcohol, or chemicals, or codependent controlling personalities.

15. I could see my way clear to understanding that my grandmother was simply another wounded child, who had remained immature, refusing to grow up, because she too had been hurt. She remained the age of ten, in her heart, all throughout her adult life. How could I feel badly toward another child who was just playing childish games?

16. I felt like I was one step closer to real masculine security, where I could become sensitive to a woman; where I could learn to trust a woman; where I could someday experience a loving trusting relationship.

17. I feel like I can now be more masculine, because I am more confident in my sensitivity, realizing that the effeminate side of my brain is not endangered or emasculated because it reflects the thinking of women, which have, before this, been untrustworthy and twisted in my own perception.

18. I realize, now, that because I was raised by women, I learned their effeminate sensitivity from them, instead of masculine strength from a father figure, and since I don't need to fear the effeminate qualities, anymore, I am free to exhibit the feminine sensitivity I learned as a child. I am, thereby, miles ahead of most men in the sensitivity department. I can now be masculine and sensitive.

The final action, before leaving the inner child experience, was to discover an affirmation to apply to the new healing that was achieved. My new affirmation, that was given to me by Myrna, was:

"I am whole... I am loved."

I will spend everyday of the rest of my life, knowing that, I am now whole... I am now loved.

I now have a new vision of my grandmother loving me, and our mutual experience of extending love and forgiveness to each other. I now know that in her heart, she never matured beyond ten years old. Oh yes, she, like all of us, learned how to ACT like an adult, but in her heart, she remained a wounded child. The negative painful memory of my grandmother is already fading fast.

For one momentary excursion into my inner child, to be so revelational, is of paramount significance in my life. I feel closer to an understanding of why I am like I am. I also feel closer to being complete and/or whole.

Now, I understand why Cliff is referred to as the Roving Prophet. His ministry ranges the continent, and is prophetic of the new awareness that will be born within the hearts of the believers. Now, I understand the name of the workshop... The Transformed Life Workshop, for my life has dynamically been transformed forever.

If there's really a Myrna out there... a full-color version... look out girl, I've got my eyes open now!

INTERESTING NOTE: The author owns copies of all of The Thin Man series. They are from the thirty's and filmed in black and white. His inner child excursions are in full-color, just like his dreams, but Myrna always appears as she did in her movies... in black and white.

Here is the beginning of new revelation about the inner child!

19. The last line of my first writing, on what my inner child thought about all of this, was: "My inner child led me to this place...."

I did not, at first, comprehend the magnitude of this statement. It was alien to our teaching. I had always been instructed that it was the adult that went to the inner child. Everyone I knew, believed that it was the conscious adult who leads the inner child into healing.

Inner child work has been described as... "Healing the wounded child within."

All my friends, in healing, believe that it is dangerous to ignore the inner child, once you have begun the journey toward inner healing, because the inner child will throw rebellious fits at attempts to heal, or change what he doesn't understand.

I no longer believe these concepts to be true. I now know that it was my inner child that led me to the workshop. It was my inner child who brought forth the lost memory. It is my inner child who reveals the truths.

It was my inner child who is healing me... and not the other way around!

Since I have given such devoted attention to my inner child, he wants to reward me with his own perfect understandings, as to how life is supposed to be. My inner child wants me to have liberty and masculine sensuality. My inner child knows the criteria for a perfectly sensitive relationship. My inner child understands the Laws of the Universe, and wants to support me in their application to my new way of life.

My inner child loves me and will not leave me alone, not because he is going to throw a temper tantrum and torment me, but because he must maintain my attention toward him and his perfect Universal sensitivity, so that he can continue to minister to me... so that he can continue to bring healing into my heart.

IMPERATIVE
!!! UNDERSTANDING !!!

Previously, I have twice challenged you to consider the scriptural phrase, "You must become as little children...."

We now can understand why this statement is so very important. To become more "spiritual..." -not religious, we must become aware of our trusting and sensitive "spiritual self," which is as pure and perfect as the hearts of our innocent and perfectly loving children.

As spiritual beings...
we are but children...
learning!

Up until now, the whole awareness of inner child work has been to "go in and heal the wounded inner child." Everyone expresses this perception. It is the same type of perception as the "victim" perception. It was correct... a momentary truth, until we come to understand new revelation, and Universal Truth.

No one has been teaching anything in error. To arrive at our healing, we all had to walk the path as wounded children. But now, we are now ready for new understanding.

It is not us -the adult,
who will heal the inner child.

It is the inner child
who will heal us -the adult.

The inner child is not some brat that we are going to go in and force new awarenesses upon. He is not some problem that we are going in to correct. He is not some transitional period in our lives that we must work upon today, and will be free of tomorrow. He is not some problem that will haunt us, if we fail to give him enough attention, who will torment and taunt us, if we fail to meet his needs.

The voice of the inner child
is
the voice of our spirit within us.

The voice of the inner child is the perfect childlike all knowing spirit within us. We have simply been unable to properly identify or distinguish between the voices in our mind.

There are two voices in our head:

There is the spirit voice fighting to be heard and believed, and the ego voice, striving to maintain its "superiority."

The haunting little voice, that makes us feel low, dirty, or ugly, is the voice of the wrongfully instructed "ego." It is our "ego" mind that lies to us, that deceives us, that has been taught to say, "I am not loved." It is the ego that has been taught to maintain its pride and hate through negative "self-talk."

It is the ego that supports false masculinity and the beauty syndrome. It is the ego that has obtained dominance and stimulates the low self-esteem. It is the ego that has been taught to subjugate the child within.

It is the spirit of the inner child that would free us from the bondage of the great deceiver, the ego.

When you hear the negative ugly voice inside your head, it is not, NOT, the inner child. It is our falsely directed ego conscious.

When we hear and experience beauty and joy, it is, IS, the voice of the inner child struggling to free itself, and us, from the wrongfully instructed ego that has chained and confined our spirit centers.

Universal Truth
XXVII
The voice that soars
is true.
The voice that destroys
is false.

Within the consideration of eternity, even if we live to be one-hundred years old... we will never be more than children. The perfect knowingness, within, is the voice of the inner child, who will illumine all truth unto our understanding... when we are ready to receive the knowledge. When we are ready to learn... the teacher will appear. It is... our self.

Universal Truth
XXVIII
In our hearts
we will never be
more than children.

What once was,
can never be again,
and what is...
will become
what will always be.

J

---

When we are ready to be born again, we will discover that the experience is not a momentary point in time, at THE altar, but a continuous transition into and toward the new creature we are to become.

The birthing process does not happen all in one moment. It begins with conception, then develops, and then labors, and then, it comes into being, not in some instantaneous religious momentary frenzy, but in the painful delivery to a whole new world, a whole new understanding of ourself in relation to... Universal Perspective.

We are the world,
We are the children,
We are the ones
To make a better day.
-Lionel Richie

---

WARNING NOTE ON FALSE MEMORY SYNDROME: There is a growing awareness to "memory" work. Because of its relative newness, there are many situations where the "unscrupulous" and the "emotional opportunist" might seek advantage of a "searcher." Unfortunately, there are negative manipulators, who would attempt to plant false memories in your mind, or who would begin to play upon personal fears or revealed secrets for reasons of control, or for personal financial gain.

If you sense negatives, or you feel uncomfortable with a guide, then trust your spirit and seek your "right" guide. From our own experience, every inner child adventure has been beautiful and revealing. The discoveries are personal and healing, and always always bring a peace of mind. They bring enlightenment to our past, and understanding to the interactions that we have had with others. They do not normally alienate or cause separation. If your memory experiences cause you to feel ugly, or hostile toward another, or separate you, then the feelings may be from the guide's point of view, and not your own.

Here are some suggestions for healthy inner child memory work, that will help you steer clear of False Memory Implants.

1. Get references, on the guide, from other inner child enthusiasts.
2. Look at the level of healing achieved by the guide's participants.
3. Listen to the interpretations of the participants. Are they healing and restorative?
4. Does the guide allow you to receive interpretation support from a group, or do they force their own private belief systems on you?
5. Do you feel peace immediately after an inner child session, or do you feel disturbed, or controlled, or even angry?
6. Does the guide allow you to interpret your own experience.
7. Trust your own spirit. You will not lie to yourself.
8. If your new awareness holds a healthy perspective, then it has greater potential to be in alignment with healing. If it is destructive, then it should be looked at a little closer and tested with time.
9. Interpret your own responses, and do not accept the interpretations of others, blindly. Others may make suggestions, or relate similar experiences, but ultimately, the interpretation of a dream, or an experience... is yours!

True inner child work
is healing and truthful.
It is not negative nor false.

KNOWING: There is a vast difference between believing something... and knowing something.

You may believe that someone is not quite ethical, but when they are convicted of embezzlement... you know they are unethical.

You may believe that someone has the potential of changing their life, but when they have actually freed themselves from twenty-five years of drug addiction, and they now maintain a job, and go on to educate themselves, and clear their name of all the negatives, and begin to offer service back to their fellow man... you know they have changed their life.

You may believe that inner child work could be beneficial, but when it has transformed your whole perception of reality, brought healing into your life, and restored a destroyed family relationship... you know that it is beneficial.

You may believe that there could be a God, but when the life of your baby has been given to you through miraculous intervention... you know that there is a God.

I have discovered that beliefs come and go....

We have all believed many things, had faith in many things, many of which crumpled under the weight of time. It is good to have beliefs. It is good to have faith. They help to center us in our tomorrows.

Beliefs and faith are good, but what gives us the ability to carry on, is what we know to be true.

When we know that we are on a path, and the path leads to a specific destination, and we have a special purpose in this world... it is then... it is then that we have moved beyond mere belief... mere faith... into the realm of sure knowledge.

You may believe...

You may have faith...

but choose to know....

---

Contribution
Printed by permission.

It is true when we say, "with our thoughts, we dictate our emotion." If you physically feel as though you are becoming ill, don’t program your body to accept it, by saying, "I'm getting sick," or "I feel terrible." When you program your mind with verbal commands, forming out of you own thoughts, your body falls subject to obey all and every command the mind has set for it.

Throw down that "I’m getting sick" feeling and replace it with "Boy, do I feel great!" It is not always as easy, and you may still feel physical disturbances, but changing your focus will alleviate much of the overall discomfort. This will also enable the body to clothe itself with "great" feelings.

Whenever you load a certain command into a computer, you expect to see that particular function, or command, carried out. Our mind is also a computer, a programmable piece of equipment subject to our every dictate. We need to be very cautious when we audibly, or even mentally, "speak things into existence."

We are a creative power and have the ability to create, all from thought, with our hands, through our words, and even with our minds.

Creating is Power.

When used correctly,
possibilities are endless
and wisdom is more abundant.

Kyle Wyatt

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